Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 647 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Lesson One: Jump That Shark Like You Mean It

1. You see the fire I have in myself. (Even Trump: "Fire and... stupidity.")
2. I meant it as in the book smarts.
3. That's what I meant it by.

Trump asks Martin about his qualifications, and Martin has none, so he predictably flounders, and Ivanka explains to him, finally grasping Martin's actual remedial level of interaction skills, that he is gross. It's so wonderful. "I don't like the way you talk, I don't like the way you project yourself. Everything you say is rhetoric." Meanwhile, Frank is screaming his ass off about unrelated shit. Trump finally, into this pandemonium, drops the beautiful and refreshing sound we've waited so long to hear: "Martin... " Because he's a lazy twat, basically, but Trump calls it "the nitty-gritty" and fears that Martin is not a good match for the "nitty-gritty." I would have just said, "It's because you're gross." That is the total reason, and contains the infinite other reasons inside it like a pretty box full of surprises and hatred. Martin continues to whine, and Ivanka's like, "Your inability to give a straight answer has defeated you," and Frank giggles madly like a nasty little boy. "Martin, you're fired." Martin goes, "No... " And Frank, with maybe the most sickening, shit-eating, ugly, icky smile ever, addresses Martin directly: "He said 'Martin, you're fired.'" Frank is trash. I'm sorry, but that's the word for what he is. I don't know a better one. He is a piece of trash. Martin becomes hilarious: "This is... unheard of. This is... horrible..." Heh. Don't let the door hit your useless ass on the way out. Trump offers him a great tall glass of cool, refreshing lemonade and LIES, but it's over. They leave, with a minimum of blah blah from Frank, and Ivanka's like, "Can you imagine him at like the Chicago construction site?" They're all like, "...Shit. Seriously." Heidi notes Frank's "passion," and I assume does a little dance on the inside that his ass is staying around to fuck up her opponents' every move next week too.

Apprentice

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