Apprentice
To Have And Have Not

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Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
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Lesson One: Jump That Shark Like You Mean It

Frank: "Martin does not hustle. That is an evil trait."
Jacob: "WORD."
Martin: "In my imagination, Ivanka saw me 'rockin' and rollin'!"
Ivanka: "No. I didn't. I did not."
Trump: "Also the bathroom thing."
Frank: "I know, right?!"
Trump: "Shut up, Frank. The bathroom thing."
Martin: "I don't understand! I had to go to the bathroom! What is the problem?"
Ivanka: "Oh you really do need us to go back to kindergarten with you about this stuff? Doable: Martin, that was a problem because you should have waiting until the grownups were done talking."
Martin: "I tried but I couldn't hold it!"
Ivanka: "... I don't fucking know what to do with this."
Frank: "You know how else Martin sucks? Because he doesn't want to prove himself. I totally do, though! It's my one trait! Insecurity!"
Trump: "You are speaking my language."
Martin: "But for the fatal errors made by the PM, we would have won."
Frank: "I don't understand any of the words you are saying. Your sentence structure is too complex."
Martin: "And yet."

Frank whines that he was "picked" by the other 16 candidates to be the team leader, which is both untrue and irrelevant, but he's actually too stupid to have a conversation, so whatever. Trump points out that this means nothing. Nicole pats herself on the back for standing on a ladder and screaming pointlessly at people who could not hear her, and tells Trump basically to stop looking for reasons why they lost, and accept that Frank "did phenomenal" and basically... tries to sell the viewpoint that Frank was such a good leader it was like they won, instead of losing. I don't think I actually like Nicole, you guys. I think that's the vibe now. Trump finally begs Frank to stop yakking because they still have to do the whole Leave And Come Back In thing, but Frank cannot stop. Round table: Who should be fired? Michelle says Frank, blowing his mind. Carey says that they lacked direction, and Ivanka asks him to confirm that Frank should be fired, and Carey says that there were two people who were problematic, and Frank gets even more fucking obnoxious.

Frank: "At the end of the day, she asked you a question."
Carey, shrugging: "At 'the end of the day,' I would fire both of them."
Trump: "Not the answer you were hoping for, Frank."
Frank: "No, I just wanted him to answer the question!"
Trump: "Um, if you say so, but I'm right."
Frank: "No, I'm upstanding and a straight shooter and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah."

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Apprentice

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