Carey's the one sane bald black gay man in all of reality TV, apparently, and he is beautiful like a supermodel, and he does event marketing and promotions, of course. Angela has gotten gold, silver, and bronze Olympic medals for Women's Ice Hockey. If you are paying attention, you will have noted that's: all the medals. She won them all! That's how good she is! But not only that, she is also a cum laude and does commercial and residential real estate. I think also she has a tattoo on her back that proclaims her as Trump's long-lost daughter, is how perfect she is. That didn't sound like a compliment, sorry. It was meant in the nicest possible way. And I'm not saying she's a lesbian, but there is a lot of gayness getting in the way of my crush on her, which could very well be 100% due to my own extreme gayness. (I don't like stereotypes and I think the female athlete one is particularly gross, but it's also, to be frank, both a numbers game and an intuitive one. Condensing fact from the vapor of nuance, as they say. Until Clay Aiken actually says to my face that he is gay, I guess he's not gay, but that doesn't mean you and I can't wink at each other and shrug about it -- and do our level best to try and keep a strong grip on the horses of our imaginations.) Trump hugs her for being in the Olympics and everybody laughs and claps for her Olympicness, and again: she has never worn high heels in her entire life, but what's weird is that I would think the hockey would make this easier. I've never worn heels and I've never ice-skated, but to my objective eye it seems like some of the same concerns would come into play.
Tim, the not-blonde of the two hotties, got his BA at Harvard then turned abruptly left and started a tutoring company like the same way that your cover business might become your real business, if you were a drug dealer: it just got time-consuming and profitable, from my understanding, so that's what he does now. He also -- in case he wasn't dreamy enough already -- loves music and writes his own songs with his very own guitar. He's the kind of smart guy that can say the word "passion" and not come off like a tool, which is just... so rare. I think also he might be a little mean-streaky. We'll see. There's Jenn, who looks like somebody I can't place, whose part falls at a weird place on her crown and makes her look cone-headed, or she is actually cone-headed, in which case I shouldn't mention it, who's in multimedia, who publishes a magazine in her spare time, who clearly gets a lot of personal satisfaction from these things. Surya does like marketing or something businessy -- they're like a blur is how fast this part goes, my favorite part I said: sadly, in an episode that is 90 minutes of Frank being a total fucking trashbat cock and Martin sucking eggs, it's still my favorite part -- and then there's Martin. Let's fucking talk about Martin, okay?