Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A- | 714 USERS: B-
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Lesson Eleven: Be Bold, And Mighty Forces Will Come To Your Aid

Much later, Felisha and Alla sit in the editing bay, and Felisha blandly tells the editor guy that Alla "knows what she's doing" and is "going to take the lead." The last glimmer of Felisha's grasp on things shines out for a second, as she interviews, "She doesn't partly contribute. If I'm going to get something great out of Alla, I have to just let her go." It's variously too true, too bad, and too late.

The editing guy tells them they've got too much content, like 2.5 minutes of material, and they look worried. Alla: "Let's go to Plan B." Felisha -- who is the Project Manager, if you'll recall -- asks what this previously-secret "Plan B" is. Alla proposes that they "just verbally relay the message with words." Since they lack that psychic bond that has been helping out Rebecca and Randal so much, she first thinks Alla means a voice-over, but in fact she means actual text.

Editing guy loads the graphics and text and plays it out for Capital Edge. Alla demands that it move faster, and faster, and faster, cramming more and more text in. Mad with power, she ignores the editing guy -- whose fucking job this is -- when he tells her it's basically unreadable and that you'd have to be on meth to understand it. Her awesome response: "Okay great, fine, we can always make it faster later." Words fly by on the screen more quickly than the human eyeball can process them. It induces seizures. Alla yanks Felisha and the editing guy up off the floor and places them back in their seats like slack rag dolls, still a little dazed. She pulls that damn Burberry lap blanket closer around her still and strokes a hairless cat and considers the possibility of fnording in messages like "ALLA WAS NEVER A STRIPPER" and "CAPITAL EDGE IS THE WINNER" and "FIRE FELISHA FIRST" and "MARRY ALLA MR. TRUMP" and "MICROSOFT IS THE DEVIL." Alla herself begins talking almost too fast to understand, but editing guy and Felisha just nod, still dazed from the power of her mad word-salad shooter on the screen. Alla babbles and screams and creates. Felisha shivers and cannot move. Alla bounces and shrieks and makes zooming sounds with her hands and mouth.

Apprentice

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