To Lead Or Not To Lead

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Eleven: Be Bold, And Mighty Forces Will Come To Your Aid

Fine. Cut to the schooner, where the first mate chuckles and welcomes Excel aboard, as Rebecca reminds us what just happened: "I had to be PM, and I had to win. I finally got what I need." Yeah. Second place! Randal and Rebecca clink their champagne glasses as we see two faraway people coming down the causeway. The dude floats the idea that maybe they'll learn a bit about sailing today, doing some boat stuff, and Rebecca laughs and tells him they're actually more into relaxing and not having some kind of Boy's Own adventure and then Randal figures out who it is coming closer: his wife Zahara, and Rebecca's boyfriend Matt. He starts laughing, and then screams! Rebecca's got her shades on and is way less touchy-feely with Matt than Randal and Zahara are together, and what they are together is ADORABLE. Randal giggles weirdly in interview and squeaks, "I got to see my wife!" It's very cute. Rebecca whispers that she's glad to see Matt.

They head out into the harbor, and the boat is pretty cool. I actually don't think I would mind this reward, for once. Matt murmurs, "Every time you've come within striking distance, you've struck." Rebecca smiles proudly. "It's true." She interviews that it was wonderful to see him, because his love is independent of The Apprentice and he's a familiar face. Randal and Zahara giggle about how horribly it would have sucked if the other team had won, and come back with tales of their loved ones: "I would have been vexed!" How cute is that?

Matt's got a healthy appreciation of his girlfriend's superhero qualities, and that's important to me. I'm afraid, though, that I still don't stand a chance, because apparently you have to look and dress like Dr. Who. Randal interviews that he can enjoy this, but he's remembering to put on his game face back on, because the city never sleeps, and this process isn't over until it's over, and whatever clichés he can come up with to cover the fact that he's not a very creative, just a very good, speaker. Back in the suite, he counsels Felisha about how hard it is to be going into the Boardroom with a "friend," and she says how they've been close since the beginning, and it just spirals into sadder and sadder stuff as Felisha interviews that Alla is just wonderful, "grounded and honest," "cares for people," "not a cold-hearted bitch," "warm," and one thousand other lies that don't even apply. But…I don't know, if I go on for ten minutes about how great Margot Kidder was in Indiana Jones And The Lost Ark, I'm not really lying or in denial or anything, just a little confused, you know? Only this is a little bit sadder because it's more like I'm telling you Margot Kidder is my mom.

Cut to Felisha, rambling at Alla as she packs about how she's all about not having a defeatist attitude, how she's going to somehow be completely honest and truthful and yet leave the Boardroom still feeling good about their friendship. Alla doesn't even look up during this mental yoga, but we do see her interviewing: "I will fight with everything I've got. It would be easier on Felisha as a person to accept that she failed, and just pack it up and go home with her head held high. If she fights, I will destroy her." Wow. I think I just switched sides again. I was feeling bad for Felisha, but I really liked that little speech. It was batshit crazy, of course, but I loved it. This is the kind of ruthless determination that gets things done, people. Bad things mostly, but surely there are some examples of this attitude being a good thing. Yeah, like Torah, you get some of this kind of bad-assery. Judith in the tent cuttin' off heads. The Maccabees. Moses slapping people every five minutes. Buffy's like this, on her better days. Even with Ayn Rand you occasionally get a building or something out of it. Tom Cruise is like this, and he can climb stuff. Cliffs, couches. Oprah. I'm just saying there's sometimes an up side when you get scary determined like this.

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