This is where he begins to repeat a lot of the monologue that he used at the beginning of last season's premiere, so I'm not sure I really have anything new to say about it. He talks about how large a developer he is. He's really large! He rattles off the things he owns. He owns a lot! I like how he lumps his two beauty pageants and his modeling agency together, in case you failed to notice just how many really hot chicks he owns. The new addition to his discussion of his empire is the meta-mention of the fact that he's even more of a big shot now, because of the show you are in the process of watching, not that that means he won't sit there and advertise it -- and himself -- to you. So it's like watching Trump watching Trump watching Trump. Are you dizzy yet?
We see a bunch of random citizens (accosted casino guests, perhaps?) act really far too excited upon being asked by Donald whether they like his show. Of course, they are completely sincere, and it has nothing to do with the fact that if they fail to give a satisfactory response, Trump will have them bankrupted and sentenced to live in studio apartments with dull, non-gold faucets for the rest of their lives. Donald talks about how after last season's finale, he returned to his first love, which is himself. Er, "which is real estate." That's it -- real estate. He reveals the much-sought-after scoop that he's made some great deals, and we just happen to be there with our camera running right when he's making one of them on the phone for almost $2 million! What are the odds? Incidentally, he's still loving that pink tie. In fact, it appears that at times, he is loving a pink shirt to go with it, which I guess is either an unexpected style choice or a sign that Melania isn't great with sorting the whites and the colors. Trump makes spazzy hand gestures (someone get that man into a creative movement class! That's the sign for baking bread!) while explaining that "energy is what it's all about." He claims to have "great people that [sic] work for [him]," and says that he just flew in from Chicago, and boy are his T-bills tired! No, not really. Really, in Chicago, it turns out that he was conferring with his right-hand man...Boyfriend Bill! Oh, hello, Boyfriend Bill. Trump reminds us that Bill won last season, in case you're not aware of that. Donald tells us that Bill is now "overseeing," by which he means "having his picture taken near," the construction of Trump's big new project in Chicago. We see Bill on the phone saying, "I'm on top of it." Obviously, Trump hired the right person. Kwame could never have said, "I'm on top of it." (Assorama would have said, "I'm on top of it, and also, I just won the U.S. Open.") I have to say, Boyfriend Bill seriously needs some acting lessons if he's going to keep trying to look like he does stuff. It's not easy, pretending to be in charge.