Toying With Disaster

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Welcome back, suck-ups

Apex Corporation. (Or, if you like, "Appex.") Bradford is telling the assembled women that they need something that can be ready to go tomorrow. Elizabeth (I think) offers to write down ideas on a big board while they all brainstorm (although she uses a cutesy "download all of our ideas" expression, including hand gestures that could be some sort of interpretive dance move indicating "rainfall"). Sandy explains in an interview that they all tried to figure out what kind of toy they thought would work well. "The drag queen wardrobe for every young boy!" Ivana suggests energetically. Crickets everywhere: "[Chirp, chirp.]" Elizabeth says, "If a boy, six to eight, had an Easy-Bake Oven, what would that be?" See, I don't think she means literally an Easy-Bake Oven for boys. I think she's asking what's the analogy to a toy that a lot of these women remember playing with. One of the annoying things about this is that it becomes obvious, and it was even more obvious upon watching some of the Extra! Boardroom! Footage! this week, that they were told that they toy was to be for boys ages six to eight, but that's not at all made clear, so it seems at first like they all were just designing for boys because they don't give a crap about girls. Which some of them don't, but still. Bradford says that he "was worried that the women wouldn't be able to put themselves in the shoes of a six-, seven-, and eight-year-old boy." He interviews that he knows what little boys want out of a toy, because he used to be one. A boy, not a toy. Although really, who knows? Bradford shows the women a sketch of what he claims any "normal kid" wants, and I'm not so crazy about his use of the word "normal," but whatever. He's drawn a football helmet on wheels, basically. And in fairness, Pool Boy would play with that. He's not eight, chronologically, but still. Bradford really, really loves his own idea, which mixes the love of sports with the love of cars. It's really not a horrible idea, in many ways. My nephews would play with it, too. And my brother-in-law.

The women, however, are not feeling it. No one actually seems to like this idea except for him. Jennifer M. interviews that she thinks Bradford pushed the football thing because he lacks "intellectual horsepower." Presumably, horsepower of the type that would tell you that My First Drag Queen Ensemble was a good idea. She claims that "kids today" want "a more sophisticated toy." Hahahahahaha. Yeah. You know, my older nephew is within a month of qualifying as a six- to eight-year-old boy, and you know what he likes? Crashing stuff. If it comes apart? Even better. If it comes apart and makes noise? Even better. If it comes apart and makes noise and can be aimed at other people, such as my younger nephew? Even better. "Sophisticated," pfft. Baldford (seriously, I cannot type Bradford reliably, and Baldford is much easier) asks whether they have other ideas, and Stacie says that they have an idea for a car. One of the women describes an idea for a vehicle that would be made up of different parts from tanks and boats and whatever else. "No," Baldford declares. "We're going with the football idea. I'm making an executive decision. That's it." Wow. That'll make you popular. Maria points out to him that kids may or may not have any interest in sports, which is true. But they also may or may not have any interest in being a drag queen, Maria. Baldford repeats that they're doing his idea. He really did act like an ass in that scene. I sympathize, because certainly, groups of women are sometimes subject to this endless discussion/paralysis thing that they seemed to be lolling around in, and it may require somebody to make a call eventually. But I think he would have been better served by compromising to the point where he found an idea that at least someone was enthusiastic about besides him. It's not a good start on a group effort to pronounce literally every other opinion on your team to be of absolutely no importance.

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