Apprentice
Toying With Disaster

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Welcome back, suck-ups

Skyline porn. We return to a conference room where Apex is hanging out, waiting for a decision. As Jennifer M. explains, they were all sitting around when Stacie picked up a Magic 8-Ball and started "trying to get everyone else's attention in the room." Shame on her! The rest of them and their tube dresses would never! What follows is a very weird scene in which Stacie says a lot of things that don't make any sense, but nothing that's particularly wacky, either. It doesn't hang together very well, and although she comes off as kind of a goofball, the reaction of the other women -- who behave as if she stripped naked and started dancing around the room with paper clips on her nipples -- seems mightily overblown. Sandy bitchily interviews that they were all obviously thinking that Stacie had to be fired straightaway. Well, totally. God forbid you tolerate a quirky personality. "She buckled under pressure, and we can-not let that happen again," she says in a chipper, obnoxious, cheerleader's voice.

In his limo, we see Trump tell Rona to "cancel that meeting" because he's heading for Mattel. Wow, it's a good thing they had the camera there when he spontaneously decided to change his schedule like that and drop by the task. I swear, this show has the luckiest camera guys ever. Both teams file into a conference room where the Mattel mucky-mucks are waiting to deliver the verdict. As they're getting ready to do so, Trump is making his way into the building and up to the room. The design guy praises all the creativity they showed, and then Donald arrives in time to hear the outcome on the task. The design guys say that the Mosaic crustaceans were good, but "a little close to other things" that are already out there. And it's also not "wacky." No, he really says that. "Wacky." Hey, you guys, be more wacky! Not wacky enough! No, wackier! He also thinks they needed to tell the kids how to play with the figures more. Pfft. That's what I meant -- kids will figure that out, it just wasn't the right setting. The Metamorphor, on the other hand, he feels was a big hit, and the kids loved it. He feels that the "clear-cut winner" was Apex and the remote-controlled car. Apex jumps up and down. Mosaic looks grim. Trump then announces that Apex will be dining in the Trumpartment with him and Melania. He promises "a really great dinner." Baldford will be safe if Apex is in the Boardroom next week. As for Mosaic? Boardroom. In fact, Trump claims to have "really missed saying" that people are fired, which seems...obvious, to the point of being stale. The men look grumpy.

Later, Apex converges on the Trumpartment. Ivana says, as they get on the elevator, "We're going to have dinner with Trumpy!" Trumpy? TRUMPY? And yes, there was a monster in a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode who was named Trumpy, and unless she thinks that Donald looks a little bit like a biped furry anteater, Ivana is barking up the wrong tree. The Trumpartment is still really, really gilded and really, really tacky. I sort of have nothing to add. Ivana says, "I feel like I can't touch anything." That's probably because there are still little tags attached to everything of value in the apartment that say, "Not To Be Touched By Ivana, By Order of the Trump Guard." Melania emerges, showing off her boobs in a blue halter number, and Baldford talks about how Melania is "a fantastic hostess," and "how a royal person would act." By which he means, "Nice ya-yas." Well, he might mean, "Wow, nice ya-yas for a classy chick," but that's as much as I'm giving him. He talks about how "gracious" she was, and then Donald appears to join them for dinner. "So far, so good, right?" Donald asks, and they're all like, "Um, yeah!" Because what choice do they have? "Good, except that your fiancée is too shiny." Trump makes a lame joke about how Baldford did a good job in spite of being a man, like, ha ha ha. Baldford's all happy about being king of the chicks.

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Apprentice

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