Then something happens. And it's kind of like a boardroom, where you want to look away but you can't, except you can look away, so you do. And it involves three things going on simultaneously. Thing One: Everybody jets and leaves Tim and Nicole alone in the pool, and they are drunk as SHIT, and they make out, and it's awkward and gross, but even drunk Tim can kiss. Thing Two: Nicole is interviewing some self-hyping BS about "poor Tim and his persistence" and how she finally let him kiss her, or whatever. Thing Three: Tim interviewing some wide-eyed BS about how one side of him was like "do it!" and the other side was like "what are you doing?!"

And it's like neither one of them has ever seen TV before, because: this is nothing new. What you're doing is proving something, because you've got something to prove, and you're proving it on national broadcast. I don't know what it is, I mean I have some guesses, but I don't really know -- all I know is that the second you say to me, "I don't know why I'm doing this," without even meaning to, my eyes are going to flick to the eighteen cameras pointed at you, and back again. Hopefully faster than you notice, but maybe not. And that's why you're doing this, and that's between you and God, but I hope whatever the reason is, doing this on TV helped you with it, and you proved whatever you're trying to prove, because love and passion may be limitless and know no timetable, and you might spend most of the six weeks filming drunk, but you're there to be on TV, and you're playing a character, and you're directing this character as much as the editing is, and the fact is that -- I mean, I'm going on how I would feel about all this -- you spend so much time thinking about what you don't wanna give the camera, because you don't want it used against you in the story...but after the fact you're going to pretend temporary insanity? I'm not buying. I'm not criticizing or attacking, beyond the fact that disingenuous bullshit pisses me off, I'm just saying: figure out why you needed to make out with each other on TV. That's all I'm asking. It's kind of a trick question because it has more questions in it than are perhaps at first apparent. Some of which probably have been at the root of similarly unexplainable behavior, some of which might be really old and really boring, all of which you should have answered by now.