"Not good"? he asks. "Ineffective?" he asks. Because just like last week, he's already decided to fire her ass for no reason, so whatever. Heidi smiles the wickedest, most wonderful grin ever; Derek kind of grins. They are the exact same amount of magnetic no matter what they're doing, it's weird. They're like...what's that math thing? They are a like a pair of sexy asymptotes. Anyway, Arrow won: 359 to 326. Arrow cheers, Jenn's whole face drops -- I really like her, I think -- and Aimee looks profoundly disturbed, but...nah, too easy. Surya immediately starts talking but all I hear is "Blah blah blah, the two Arrow storylines are that Surya Sucks and that Tim and Nicole are Repulsive, and meanwhile James is sneaky-snaking up one side and down the other, and Stefani is amazing, and somehow Frank is coming off better than most of the team, and all three of those things are so much more interesting than either of the stories we're highlighting this season, even if Tim is pretty cool whenever Nicole's not the subject, because those things are interesting and complex, like how you end up Frankie Suits while being a great salesman and a funny guy, or how you end up Erin Brockovich and a defense attorney and still stay so sweet and funny, or how Tim and Nicole both suffer in this romance edit, because they are independently a thousand times more interesting and likeable than the sum of their parts, and James is the new Aaron in that his dark side is very, very secret, but the audience is I guess too stupid to hear about any of this, so we get this monochrome, boring, trashy shit every week, making Arrow look like dumb hicks no matter what they do." Only with more words. Okay, and then the reward? Surfing lessons, then brunch at Gladstone's, which will include, I'm sure, more champagne with more classy fist-sized strawberries floating in there. That reward is, to me, for the fiftieth week running, horrible. This one in particular is like hearing that the reward is a free colonoscopy, because it is the gift of health or something. Dear Donald: If there's any kind of gift up there at all, I'm not gonna want it. FYI. Unless the alternative involves surfing, actually, so there we go. Oh, and they get to move back into the house again, of course, and Surya is PM next week, and also a Viceroy right now, this very second, giving him -- this is worth thinking about -- the opportunity to help Aimee out the way she helped him last week. Right? Right? I mean, I don't have anything against Aimee, and I have no vested interest in her staying or going, but surely Surya isn't that much of a douchebag, right? Hello? Is this internet on?
Episode Report CardJacob Clifton: B | 742 USERS: B-
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