Apprentice
Travel Sweepstakes Smackdown

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Lesson Six: Accessibility Is Never Politically Incorrect

We meet Trump at LAX with planes flying over, because he's getting on his stupid penis jet, because the product placement this week is a travel website. That's literally it: they had to drive out there in their vans, and he took a limo with two of the execs from the client, to stand under his stupid jet so that he could talk about a travel website. Sigh. The execs are more attractive than usual: one of them, Chris, looks like a hot TV-ready hitman, and the other one is a totally sexy gravedigger or undertaker who knows how to play the guitar, I bet, and his name is Bret with a variable number of t's in it. So their task, and this is precious, is to promote the website at "an LA cultural phenomenon: the shopping mall." Look at those words. I wish we made a magnetic version of these recaps so you could move those words around and make some sense of them. This is stretching to the infinite level: stand under a jet and then go to a mall, and all of this adds up to "LA culture." They have to sign people up on these computers to win a sweepstakes, and I think that additionally to this, they also have like I think ten grand to give away right there. Now, this task is harder than it looks, because the internet is scary, especially to people in malls, and you don't want to give computers your info, and also free stuff is scary, because there is no such thing, so you have the sketchy offer of free stuff and the sketchy putting your information into a computer, plus the sketchiness of Surya (at least the rest of Arrow's good at selling, even though there's still a median sketchiness they can't really do anything about) and the sketchiness of all mall kiosks, and like, that right there is equal to the sketchiness of Chris Hansen catching like Gregg Jarratt at a Moffatts concert.

In the van, Aimee delegates: Angela will be doing marketing in the store, Muna will be on timelines and marketing, Derek will do creative and marketing, Muna will be with Derek on creative, Jenn's on like hats and octopi, Kristine is dealing with the legal stuff and the execs I think, and that's everybody, except for how -- as Kristine points out both to Aimee, and to us in interview -- that means Muna's in at least two places at once, whereas Kristine's responsibilities end about half an hour into the task. Muna and Heidi both wonder what Aimee's up to, and Kristine interviews: "Aimee's just not getting it." They're going to have to manage themselves. Again.

Into the mall! Where the Emmy for editing subtlety goes to this show for the sixth week running as we are treated to so many shots of Hispanic customers in various areas and modes of dress I start to think they're splicing in stock footage from the NBC warehouse just because they have that much in there. The mall is full of Latinos, we get it. Did you know you're taping in Southern California? (Hint: Aimee didn't!) Derek interviews about how he and Jenn toured the mall to figure out where to put their kiosk, and he asks the lady straight out about the demo makeup in the area: about 50% of the customers in the mall are Hispanic. And you know, duh. This whole storyline just reeks, in this episode. I mean, I get that LA is big and you have different areas, I'm from a big city too, but the way the show itself seems amazed with this new information is really off-putting, in a way I can't really figure out. I don't know where it's coming from, but it's like, "Wow, California! Whole new world!"

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Apprentice

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