Apprentice
Travel Sweepstakes Smackdown

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Jacob Clifton: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Six: Accessibility Is Never Politically Incorrect

Arrow's totally got it together: they have this great idea to do raffles every ten minutes, meaning that it'll take two hours to blow through their ten grand, which is like the whole task I bet, but they'll have constant freakouts and cheering and stuff, so people will crowd them for the nine minutes between the raffles, I mean it's great. Everybody loves it. Frank gets excited, and Surya acts like a total asshole.

Frank: I have this great idea!
Surya: Don't tell me your great idea. Sit quietly for two minutes, then give me two sentences that accurately describe your great idea. That's your Strategy.
Frank: Okay, my strategy is that we should...
Surya: Frank, again I'm going to have to stop you. Do not tell me your great idea, Frank. Tell me two sentences that describe your great idea, and then we can talk about that, and then you can tell us how you're going to Execute your great idea.
Frank: So then I would be telling you my great idea?
Surya: No, that's later. First your Strategy, then your Execution, then we meet about it, then you can tell us your idea.
Frank: But I already have the idea. I don't need to implement a procedure to have the idea.
Surya: I implement these procedures instead of having ideas, Frank.
Frank: But like I have an idea right now in my head, and it's about to go away. Have you ever met me before? I've got a fifteen-second short-term memory. I ate shoelaces this morning because Stefani forgot to tell me not to.
Stefani: It's true. With a béarnaise sauce he made last night.

Surya: I do marketing as my job, Frank. This is going to be great. Now, tell me your Strategy.
Tim: Yeah, Frank, tell us your Strategy and then when Surya goes away you can tell us your idea, and we can do it, and then we will win.
Frank: Okay, here's the -- oh, it's going... Put some flowers on Algernon's grave for me...
Tim: No! Frank! Write it down! Write it down!
Surya: Draw a flow chart of how you're going to write it down!
Frank: What were we talking about?
Tim: ...I don't fucking care anymore.
Frank: I drew a cartoon of Surya with eyelashes and crazy hair!

Surya: [lots of words]
Frank: Suck it, Surya!
Stefani: Behave!
Everybody: No, actually? Kind of...suck it, Surya.
Surya: [fake laughter like he's in on the joke; he is not in on the joke at all]

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Apprentice

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