Apprentice
Trouble Is Brewing

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Trump introduces the task by saying that Nestle is the biggest food company there is. Worth more than $100 billion. "So that's $96 billion more than I'm worth!" Trump says with shock. "And I'm not happy with that!" The candidates laugh, just the way they would if it were funny. Of course, if he were capable of being funny, he might not have the four billion, so he might want to quit while he's ahead. Trump says that they'll be working with Nescafe Taster's Choice, and adds that "it's really good, believe me," as if he has ever had instant coffee in his entire life, other than maybe espresso powder on his sidewalk whenever it snows. Trump explains that each team will have a $75,000 budget from the two Nestle execs who are present. The challenge will be to "create a marketing campaign" for Nescafe, using big ideas. Big! Ideas! Like...mime! Hold on to that. And again, the winning team will be the one that creates "the most buzz" and "the most excitement." And the losers will go to the Boardroom. Oh, and he reminds Michael of his exemption. Sigh. We hate Michael's exemption! Trump greets a bunch of fans as he's leaving, because he is all mobbed by the common people now. He's like the Pied Piper of Money, except that if anyone tries to follow him, he has them shot.

A sax plays us into the task, which is taking place at Nestle. And you have to admit that Nestle is the most blatantly sexual of all the major grocery brands. There's something going on there that you just don't get from something like Pillsbury, although interestingly enough, it would work with General Mills. Anyway, Bren says in the Magna meeting that because it's a creative marketing task, he would put Danny up as a great prospective PM. Danny accepts. And why wouldn't you put the guy in charge of your marketing effort whose most recent marketing effort last time Carolyn called the worst she had ever seen? Danny re-introduces the task, talking about how they're going to be judged for representing the product well, being creative, and so forth. There is some team chatting about the promotion, and then we watch the increasingly obnoxious Michael explaining to Bren how at cafes in Europe, there's Nescafe everywhere. So Michael wants to promote "a European lifestyle," complete with "European models." And mopeds. I hate him instantly. It's something about the way he says "mopeds." "Trust me," Michael says, "everybody loves a beautiful European model." And also, everyone is a straight man. Stephanie sits with her mouth agape. She interviews that Michael basically didn't take the task seriously, because he was exempt. "He pretty much just sat back and enjoyed the ride," she says. And it's not like it's very much of a ride, either. It's like sitting back and enjoying the people-mover at the airport. When Michael continues to press his hooker/model thing, Erin looks right at him and says, "You're going to alienate women." Michael is confused. "But you're going to attract more men. Double up on the men." HATE. Danny, making a lot more sense than usual, interviews that Michael comes up with a single idea, and then he just brags about how awesome it is and wants nothing to do with anything else. Danny quite wisely points out that Michael "is sealing his own fate" with the way he's acting. He's certainly sealing someone's.

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Apprentice

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