Apprentice
Trouble Is Brewing

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Coffee, tea, or blech

Net Worth. They're raising a big balloon arch, and Chris is yelling about giving away $10,000. Interestingly, despite the fact that he's giving away twice as much as he proposed earlier, people are not, in fact, running right over. I think Audrey says she's "sweating balls," which I don't even entirely understand, not that I'm not always up for a good "ball sweat" story. On the other hand, for the purposes of sending me email, you can assume that anything with "ball sweat" in the subject line will be deleted. Anyway, Chris continues screaming about the giveaway; Audrey continues giving away coupons for free coffee. Chris is being scary. That much yelling would totally drive me away. They desperately need Troy. Like, desperately.

John (whom I miss) explains that they set up a faux-rally at which they're going to have a debate over hot coffee drinks versus cold coffee drinks. The faux-debate is actually passably entertaining, or so it appears, and it even seems to make George and Carolyn laugh. A woman gives her opinion that she loves both the hot and the cold. A woman named Linda Cook takes home the $10,000. Applause! Angie says that she was very excited about the concept, and the team was excited, and it seemed to go very well. I'm not sure what she was expecting -- it would be a surprise indeed if they had to say, "Well, we gave away the money to this woman, but she was really pissed off."

Magna. They've got people lining up for their coffee and the iPod drawings. Danny says that they were planning to give away an iPod or two every half-hour, so that you'd have fresh customers all the time, and people would hang around and stay. The Nestle executives look on as Danny starts in on an iPod giveaway. We see Michael trying to hand out flyers as Danny voices over that he relegated Michael to "menial" stuff, because Michael was being such a dick about everything. He says that they're depending on their planner, who probably wouldn't hire Michael either. Heh. Oh, and Michael explains in an interview that he thinks he's filling his role just fine. As we see him frolicking with a mime. Their $47,000 event planner sent a mime? In a red sparkly jacket? Give me a fucking break. The big idea is mime? That is not the big idea. That's revenge on your parents for not taking you to The Nutcracker when you were little. Oh, and there's a guy who...I guess is dressed like a cup of coffee? Or something? God. That guy's parents and the mime's parents just turned to each other at the same moment and said, "I'm glad I don't have your kid."

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Apprentice

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