Trump: Unauthorized

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Montage! Trump exits the limo in his tux, complete with red carnation in his lapel. He reaches back toward the limo's open door. A hand emerges with a large diamond ring on its middle finger. (Middle. Yeah.) High-heel-wearing feet step onto a red carpet. Slow motion. Slow motion. Cheering and clapping. And, to the surprise of no one, the woman who has just stepped out of the limo is Mooples, who has apparently been rescued from Other Woman territory and ushered into life as Trump's real-life lady friend. Mooples tears up as she takes her opportunity to stand proudly beside Trump and his terrifying hair, declaring now and forever that she is the most treasured possession of all (or at least for about five years), no matter what anyone says. Elsewhere, later, Donald finds Bobby, who bitterly says that Trump apparently got what he wanted, with the chaos and the craziness. Bobby argues that even the casino's test runs were horrible, as they "couldn't take care of the cash," whatever that means. The brothers continue to argue, and Trump of course proposes to solve the problem by simply declaring that Bobby will fix it. Will! But Bobby says no, and walks out. We now find ourselves in a very grim meeting between Donald Trump and some of the many people to whom he owes money, I suppose. One gentleman in particular seems to be in charge of cracking the whip about all the things Trump owes money for and all the payments he has already missed when they were due. Trump is informed that he is $2 billion in debt, and that $800 million of that was personally guaranteed, and nobody even knows yet what he'll wind up owing Ivana. Trump then appears outside, telling the press that the organization is having some problems, but will bounce back. (Dammit.) But back in the meeting, which is magically still going on through the power of inept editing, Trump is told that the company will be dismantled. Bankruptcy is suggested, and Trump refuses to consider it. Trump appears in slo-mo some more as the press hounds him and Newsweek runs a cover suggesting that he has already gone through "Trump: The Fall." The financial enforcer, meanwhile, says that there will be a chief financial officer hired to oversee the organization while it rebuilds. Trump gets cocky, talking about how they apparently think they'll replace him. Somebody gets very much too cute when one of the finance guys suggests that Trump "fire some people" to make it seem like he's in charge. "I don't like firing people; I've never been comfortable with it," he says. See, it's funny because of TV. Do you get it?

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