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M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
Under the Hammer

Time to bring out the rest of the also-rans, who come out one by one and take seats in what looks like a jury box, but without the box. Gene Simmons is gone, because he's busy shooting a movie in Japan. Finally, that sequel to KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park that I've been waiting for! And the other missing celebrity? Omarosa.

Cue a montage of Piers vs. Omarosa's greatest hits. I've had some time to think about this since their big blow-up all those weeks ago, and I've realized something. Yes, Omarosa went below the belt with Piers. The meanest, worst, coldest thing you can say to a normal human being is that their family hates them and is disappointed in them; and Omarosa went there with Piers. But the meanest, worst, coldest thing you can say to Omarosa is this: "You're not that famous." And that's where Piers started with her. So take that for what it's worth. Anyway, we're reminded that back then, Piers vowed never to talk to her again. So then she finally comes out in full dragon-lady regalia. Trump asks her why she doesn't like Piers. "Because he doesn't floss," Omarosa says, failing to impress Trump with a diatribe about Piers's poor dental hygiene. Piers just pretends not to know who she is. There he goes again.

Trump then turns to Lennox, who says that Piers could stand to be a little more tactful. Carol says she wasn't insulted at not being picked by Piers for his final team. When Trump asks her about Trace, Carol starts to say that she should have been in the final round. Trump can't have that, of course, so he basically cuts her off. Trump then asks Stephen if he sabotaged Piers in the final task or if he really sucks that much. Stephen dodges the question, but he will say that Trace is "ten times better." The metric he's using is not immediately clear. Trump then asks Vinnie Pastore if he regrets resigning. Vinnie admits as much, and calls out Lennox for turning on him the day after Vinnie took him out for an evening. Lennox maintains that he thought Piers was the best guy at the time. At the time.

Trump asks the resident Apprentice fan, Marilu Henner, how she liked the experience. She just says it was fun. Trump then asks Jennie Finch if she's going to win an Olympic Gold Medal, and points out multi-medalist Nadia Comaneci sitting next to her. Like that has anything to do with anything. Finally he asks for a show of hands on who likes Trace and who like Piers. Trace wins by a landslide (and a standing O from Lady O), but I think some of them voted twice. Notice how Trump learned his lesson with Carol and avoided asking any of the other women anything remotely relevant or related to the game? Nely Galan, of course, might as well not exist as far as he's concerned. It's time for more commercials now, and we'll find out Trump's decision eventually, I can only assume.

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