Meanwhile, Teresa has failed to establish a design concept for their sales display until the last minute, at which point Debbie's like, "Um, do we have design for our kiosk?" and Teresa responds with an annoyed, "Yes, Debbie, we do signs every week." Like the mere fact that every week they make signs is enough for signs to magically appear. Debbie hardcore hates Teresa, and vice versa.

When it comes to selling the books, the women take to Union Square, where Aubrey is hustling to sell $5 books to average schmoes while everybody else works their own contacts for big-money donations. Poor Aubrey. I guess this is the downside to pissing off Diddy so severely. Dayana pulls in some big dollars, Lisa gets Jeff Foxworthy to plunk down five grand, Joe Giudice shows up with $20,000 from the Republic of New Jersey. How gross to have to accept charitable donations from Juicy Joe, possibly the worst person in the world?

Team Unanimous:
Penn has an idea to photograph the team members from top of Trump Tower, pointing to various areas of the city. Clay thinks it's a bad idea, but Dee goes for it. Each team member represents a certain area (including Paul repping for the Upper East Side, which Clay points out is patently ridiculous). Clay and Arsenio get into a jokey/romantic fight over Clay's writing, while Penn lines up the Blue Man Group (who he calls "one of the greatest performance arts groups of all time") to show up tomorrow with a big donation. Everybody's calling their famous friends, in fact, but Arsenio doesn't seem to have a whole lot of luck in that area. Finally, he gets Jay Leno on the phone. Jay has decided to go for the good (network-mandated) publicity and promises to send Arsenio a blank check.

The next day, at Madison Square Park, Lou and Penn are also quoting $5 per book which, per the theme of the day, irks Clay. Dee says it all will depend on the big money donors anyway. Disgraced castoff Michael Andretti comes by and drops $20,000 on a book, which is a mighty generous thing to do. Arsenio still has no donors, and Leno's check got stuck in traffic. But at least Penn got Teller to pony up $20k. Then the Blue Man Group shows up. As is their wont, they create a huge spectacle, including popping a giant balloon full of money. The resulting explosion of cash causes utter chaos in the area, with everybody grabbing for dollars and not everybody handing those dollars over to the team. Clay is the most vocal about what a shitshow this all is, telling Dee that they'll be lucky if they got half the money that was in the balloon and calling it a "mob scene." Naturally, Clay places the blame squarely on Penn. Arsenio finally gets the bad news that the Leno check is stuck in traffic as the clock runs out. So Arsenio raised a grand total of $0. Oof.