Round Three: Bellman. Gold Rush is...you guessed it. Incredible. They look like spies, like sexy TV spies with all kinds of weather-customizing possibilities, these great squared-off trench coats and almost-formal attire underneath, almost military in influence. The audience goes WILD, Don Jr. and Ivanka are both like, "I want that in every color." Synergy: Imagine a cop who's not really a cop, but actually a stripper, wearing a peach-and-green spacesuit in the future, with turned-up cropped sleeves, like Mary Martin would be like, "But I'm playing a boy." Imagine some mid-'50s personification of electricity safety or something, prancing and mincing around about "Don't touch wires." In a Robin Hood cap with the little feather. Sean on Synergy, what little I could bear to listen to: "I would feel demasculized [sic]! I would feel like an arse-hole! I bet he felt like an arse-hole!" The dude's a model, guy. I think he'll be okay. Michael Jackson on Round Three: "I don't know. Seems a little immature and sexless."
Round Four: Suite Keeper. Guess what. Rush gives you sexy and functional, clean lines, adjustable sleeves, major resizing potential, and all the suite keepers go crazy like, "Fuck yeah, dude! Does that come with Dr. Scholl's inserts?" The emcee points out that it's "all about comfort," which is kind of begging the question, I guess. Synergy. Culottes. Puffy sleeves. You know how uncreative people think maid's uniforms are super-hot? This is what happens when the French Maid dream and the Schoolmarm dream clash and fray, and become nightmare. Wendy Pepper is like, "What is the problem?" Sean: "Hoooorrible!" Lee: "Gross!" Sean: "The cast of Dynasty called, they want their shoulder pads back! ...Absolutely patronizing." I just wish they'd worked that "chambermaid" bullshit into the pitch somehow. Allie grins to herself, completely oblivious, about how they had all these "details" but the boys, their "details" were "hard to find." Maybe it has something to do with not being in retina-burning, hideous colors. Or having all the details be at a sub-Garanimals level of subtlety. The degree to which fashion passes this woman by is really troubling, because I know she has the swamp-thing hair issues sometimes, but she generally looks cute. She can wear the fuck out of her clothes, that's for sure. Miss Minchin of the School For Dirty and Wayward Girls, on Round Four: "No girl is that dirty."