Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 558 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Have it your way or the highway

In other news, Alex rubs his chin thoughtfully, or in a manner that would be thoughtful if he had more thoughts. Michael gives his opinion that some of the women are spoiled, and they all got lots of help from their daddies. Which apparently, he was able to conclude by looking at them. Interesting observation, there. I don't suppose Michael is going to turn out to be Fuck Fuck Fuck How Can All These Chicks Be Smarter Than I Am I Can Feel My Balls Shrinking By The Minute Guy or anything. Erin reminds us in an interview that she's "an intellectual." Which makes sense, because that's what they cast for, after all. That's why there's an essay test on Great Literature Other Than Vanity Fair. Erin further explains that she intends to prove that women can be "sexy and powerful." Considering her hair and blank expression, it isn't clear just how proving this has anything to do with her, but I'm willing to wait and see what she comes up with. ["I'm not: Shut up, Erin. Reverse sexism is so '89." -- Sars]

Trump calls for Robin, who sends the Apprenti in to meet with Trump. She directs the women to go in first and stay on the left (their left? Trump's left? She doesn't say), and the candidates file in. Todd informs us that all the people in the group are "sharks," and they want the same job he wants. Those sharks. He says it will come down to the Boardroom. Survival of the fittest! I can't wait. Maybe blood will be shed. Or the entire thing will switch over to a documentary about Galapagos turtles.

In the Boardroom, the candidates are stared down by Trump, George, and Carolyn. Carolyn's Brain: "Hmm. Fewer tube dresses than last time, although the off-the-shoulder green dust ruffle is unfortunate." Trump welcomes everyone to the "job interview." What's awesome is that rather than leading with how awesome George and Carolyn are when he introduces them, Trump focuses on how "very famous" they've gotten. Not that he doesn't also say they're "great executives." Because he does. And they are. But...did he mention how famous? Trump goes on to say that for the last two rounds, he pitted the men against the women in an effort to prove that all stereotypes are secretly accurate, because women are all about backstabbing and lying and pettiness, and that's before you marry them. (Kidding! Happy wedding! Hope you got a toaster!) This time, Trump is eschewing gender warfare in favor of class warfare. What he's doing is splitting them into two teams with "approximately the same IQ" who are "approximately the same age." What's the difference? Have we mentioned the "smarts" thing, because...yeah, I wasn't sure. We did, oh, good. Anyway, the "glaring difference" is that half of them have college degrees, and half have "only a high school diploma." LoopTrump tells us that both groups have been successful, but then we return to LiveTrump, who tells us that it turns out that the high school grads make three times as much money as the college grads. So Trump's plan is to see whether "practical experience is more important than academic knowledge." And this will be a great opportunity to learn exactly that. Welcome to America's referendum on the value of higher education.

Apprentice

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