Whopper 101

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
Have it your way or the highway

At any rate, Trump says that Net Worth will be going to the Twenty-One Club for dinner, and they'll be visiting the vaults, and Trump is apparently coming along. And Magna? You are headed for the Boardroom.

Later, Net Worth meets up with Trump and Melania at the club, and they're taken inside. Tara explains that they went to this slick place for their reward, and it was "an amazing experience." They take a tour of the old wine cellar, including the long skewer-slash-key that had to be used to get in during Prohibition. Trump leads them in, and that's where dinner is set up. Trump praises them for their victory, claims not to have been surprised, and congratulates John on his good leadership. John interviews that he was incredibly excited when Trump said he did well and reached out and shook his hand. Brian asks Trump about a story that has been previously semi-debunked on Snopes (though not as firmly as many things are debunked, in fairness) about Trump receiving roadside assistance from a couple of strangers and then paying off their mortgage as a thank-you. Is this story true? Brian wants to know. Trump says calmly that it is true. It's certainly not outside the realm of possibility, I guess, but it's weird that he would really do it after similar legends popped up about other celebrities. And really, it's not like there's anyone out there who could prove it isn't true, you know? I remain a little skeptical, unlike Brian, who says, "That is fucking awesome." Believe it or not, I would know enough not to swear in that situation, though, even though I have kind of a potty mouth at times. Your Boss Must Use The F-Word First is kind of a basic rule of business. Brian insists that this (the story about the couple, not the fact that Trump hasn't yet used the F-word) proves Trump is "a great man who believes in good karma." In other words, a great man who helps others in order to ultimately, by the balance of the universe, benefit himself. And that, certainly, I would go along with. Because isn't that what it's all about? Damn, I love spiritual capitalism. Brian continues to bluster about how at least none of them will be the first fired. As if that's the only looming humiliation.

Magna has a pre-Boardroom meeting in which Todd claims that "all the frustrations stem from the marketing/advertising." Which is fine, but...dude. Lines out the door? Idle registers? That wasn't frustrating at all? Danny, despite the fact that I still can't stand him, makes basically this point, asking what it means when they're getting people into the restaurant, and the people are leaving. Danny interviews that Todd was already unhappy about his work, and Todd interfered with Erin's happy-dippy idea for them to "regroup." I love these people who think they can do this with a totally warm, go-team spirit. Because you really can't, and it's always fun when their hopes are dashed. Because Trump's going to ask you whom you would fire, and you're going to have to answer. It won't work not to. Anyway, Danny accuses Todd of "a complete misperception of reality." Todd goes on to say that his frustrations with Danny in the task were "super-huge." He really is from a fraternity. Todd goes on to point out that Danny was basically unable to make any decisions about anything they asked him to work on, and this was a major problem. In a really weird clip, Danny tells us, sounding close to tears at times, that he was "the 'unbelievable' guy," as if that's a positive thing, and he was "the corporate cheerleader," and now they were accusing him of "being a traitor." A traitor? No. You just sucked. Bren offers some kind of a platitude I can only half-understand, because he says it in Southern.

More New York porn transitions us to the daytime hours, in which Todd is explaining to Alex that he's going to be bringing him to the final table, on the basis that he thinks Alex blew it on the production side, presumably on the staffing issue. Although he says "upselling," an expression that isn't entirely clear to me, but one that I think just means "selling," in this case. Alex tells Todd that he thinks Danny was a problem, but Todd failed to control him. "I don't know who's worse, Danny or Todd," Alex says. "Todd is a terrible leader. Danny is a steamroller with a drunk driver at the helm." Well...nice metaphor, Danny his own drunk driver? Or is Todd the drunk driver? It's a short exercise in figures of speech, there, Alex. You don't want to be losing people in the middle. Todd assures Alex that Alex won't go anyway -- it will be him or Danny. They shake on it. Elsewhere, Stephanie and Danny have a chat in which she says that she thinks they did great with the marketing, and the claims that they didn't are a crock. "You and I did not lose this on marketing," she says. Danny says that Stephanie is smart, and she knows the marketing was successful (snerk), so only Todd remains to take the blame. Only Todd! Todd sucks! Marketing rules! The world belongs to those who make math jokes!

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