Apprentice
Whopper 101

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Have it your way or the highway

Back at the Love Palace, the teams try to sound like they have some idea what they're doing. John tells us that he's worked at restaurants and designed restaurant "concepts," so he knows what he's doing. "So you're it, bud," says Audrey, making her first and last contribution to the episode. Chris interviews that they picked John for PM, based on his copious restaurant experience. In their meeting, John tells everyone to just raise a hand if they'd like to be called on. Ew. John hustles the team out of the L-Pal to see their chef, because you can't market what you don't know anything about, not that 90 percent of modern advertising seems to be aware of that fact.

Over at Magna, Alex interviews that it's awesome to have both of these teams go flip burgers, because of all the burger-flipping jokes related to one's education. Not sure how that's quite so great, but he seems to think it is, so...all right. They learn that Todd once ran a restaurant, so he's the obvious PM choice for them. Or so it seems. Bren, not even bothering to keep that distinctive bow tie particularly straight, explains that they made Todd the PM because "he'd ran a restaurant before." Not a degree in English, I guess. Danny promises Todd at their team meeting that "one of [his] strengths will be getting people in the door." By, presumably, chasing them away from all other available locations with his guitar. Stephanie says that she, too, is awesome at "sales and marketing," so there's that team set up. Bren tells us that Danny stepped up, and with great stepping up comes great responsibility. And you have to "put out." Hey. You never have to put out if you don't want to. Ask Focus on the Family. Well, actually, don't, because they're busy getting the gays to stop falling in love and getting married and mowing their lawns and making out to the glow of Spongebob Squarepants cartoons. (Might be a little too Focused on certain parts of the Family, if you ask me.) There is yet another team cheer. There is yet another "UNBELIEVABLE!" Verna looks ill. I start pulling clumps of hair out of my head.

The Trump motto of the week is "Perseverance." We watch him negotiate a deal involving $250,000, so he's apparently negotiating the price of dinner or something.

Net Worth is at the Manhattan BK office, where the chef is explaining about the new burger that has onion rings on top. Now, some of the EEFPs expressed surprise at the idea of putting onion rings on top of a burger, but I have to say, I see that all the time. The room service cheeseburgers that the Couch Baron and I recently enjoyed while I was in New York staying at the charming Marriott Brooklyn Bridge (highly recommended!) had onion rings on them. ["It's a burger staple at Jersey diners." -- Sars] Kristen rejects several other burgers on the basis that nobody likes jalapeno peppers, the cheese one has too much cheese, another one is actually a piece of chicken pretending to be a burger...so they go with the onion-ring one, known as the "Western Angus."

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Apprentice

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