Bachelor

Season 18: After the Final Rose - We launch right into the special with Chris basically pointing out how everyone is disgusted after watching that finale. Apparently JP has a surprise for us later but first, Chris is talking to Clare. Clare tells Chris she's doing...

RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE

Latest Episode

18-11
Weecap

I Like You a Lot

Season 18: After the Final Rose - In which Chris Harrison deserves a medal for leading the most horrifically strange and uncomfortable post-show interview in the history of The Bachelor. (For real this time.)

03.10.2014 A

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Ep.

Title

Air/Pub'l

Grade

Author

18-10
Weecap

Red Flag Warning

Season 18 Finale - Juan Pablo's family members all realize he's a jackass, and try valiantly to warn the remaining two bachelorettes.

03.10.2014
03.11.2014
F

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18-9
Weecap

The Women Tell Nothing New

Women Tell All - Tonight, the women tell all about how Juan Pablo is a jerkwad.

03.03.2014
03.04.2014
D

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18-8.2
Weecap

It's Okay

Season 18, Episode 8, Part 2 - One of the girls calls Juan Pablo out on being a self-centered ass, but, seeing as how that is true, he's surprisingly unconcerned by it all.

02.25.2014
02.26.2014
N/A

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18-8.1
Weecap

Family Court

Season 18, Episode 8, Part 1 - It's time for the remaining women's families to meet and judge if Juan Pablo is worthy of their daughter's/sister's hand in marriage. (Probably not.)

02.24.2014
02.25.2014
C

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18-7
Weecap

Double Negative

Season 18, Episode 7 - Clare versus Nikki! Sharleen versus Sharleen! Juan Pablo versus the English language! It all shakes down in this episode.

02.17.2014
02.18.2014
B

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18-6
Weecap

Double the Standards, Double the Fun!

Season 18, Episode 6 - Juan Pablo somehow manages to charm Clare even while still basically making it her problem that they hooked up in Vietnam. If that's not true love, what is?

02.10.2014
02.11.2014
F

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18-5
Weecap

Date from Hell

Season 18, Episode 5 - One girl goes on a date to (an) actual (cave called) Hell, while another decides she's going to create her own on-on-one date.

02.03.2014
02.04.2014
C

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18-4
Weecap

Seoul Sisters

Season 18, Episode 4 - In Korea, the girls finally start to turn on each other.

01.27.2014
01.28.2014
D

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18-3
Weecap

Kick to the Heart

Season 18, Episode 3 - A group date involves soccer and public making out, which some of the women very much don't appreciate.

01.20.2014
01.21.2014
C

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18-2
Weecap

A Doggone Mess

Season 18, Episode 2 - In which we learn that, on a group date, one person shouldn't attempt to drink ALL the drinks herself.

01.13.2014
01.14.2014
D

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18-1
Weecap

Love at First Bump

Season 18, Episode 1 - Some of these ladies are trying hard not to look crazy, but others are hoping that lunacy helps them score a sexy Latin husband.

01.06.2014
01.07.2014
C

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17-13
Weecap

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Lindsay?

Season 17: After the Final Rose - In a genuinely surprising epilogue, it turns out the happy couple is for not once not trying to hide the fact they broke up the moment the cameras stopped rolling but are in fact planning to get married (on ABC, naturally).

03.11.2013
03.12.2013
F

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17-12
Weecap

It Seems Like There's A Hole In My Dreams

The Season 17 Finale - Sean picks Catherine, having thought long and hard which of his girlfriends will eventually be the hottest old chick.

03.11.2013
03.12.2013
F

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17-11
Weecap

The Fifty Ways I Heaved My Lovers

Season 17: The Women Tell All - Tierra says she's sorry if the other women were expecting her to "be friendly" or "not treat them with contempt" or "display a basic level of familiarity with the rules of courtesy and politeness we expect even toddlers to have in our society."

03.04.2013
03.05.2013
F

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17-10
Weecap

We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off

Season 17 Overnight Dates - AshLee gets the best exit of the season: A hate-filled glare that curdles Sean's very soul, as he — without explanation — goes cold on her, despite having cast himself as the protector of her fragile psyche.

02.25.2013
02.26.2013
F

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17-9
Weecap

Damage Control Freak

Sean Tells All - Just because we only ever see Sean being mean and stupid, that doesn't mean he is mean and stupid, guys. If anything, Sarah should apologize to him!

02.19.2013
02.20.2013
F

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17-8
Weecap

Phony! Phoni! Phoné!

Season 17, Episode 8 - It appears that after several seasons that produce tawdry tabloid magazine covers but not marriages, America's families are becoming a little more skeptical of the dilettante in their midst. Sean punishes Desiree for having a brother who sized Sean up exactly right.

02.18.2013
02.19.2013
F

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17-7
Weecap

Welcome to the Tierradome

Season 17, Episode 7 - Tierra discovers that there are only so many times you can play the "I'm an emotional train wreck who resorts to faking injuries and tear to manipulate people" card so many times before even a cementhead like Sean reaches his limit.

02.11.2013
02.12.2013
A+

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17-6
Weecap

If We Don't Get A Rose, The Tierrarist Wins

Season 17, Episode 6 - Sean, Sarah may have only one arm on the outside, but you've got only one arm in your heart. Now GET OUT OF MY COUNTRY.

02.05.2013
02.06.2013
F

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17-5
Weecap

Do Not Pass Goat

Season 17, Episode 5 - Sean doesn't think it's fair that women have to go home just because they lose the challenges he sets out for them. And it's certainly not fair that no one likes Tierra just because she's a monster to everyone.

02.04.2013
02.04.2013
F

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17-4
Weecap

Nights of Whine and Roses

Season 17, Episode 4 - Sean organizes a roller derby match and is impressed not by the one-armed Sarah's determination, not by the faceplanting Amanda's enthusiasm, but by Tierrable's tears and whining.

01.28.2013
01.29.2013
F

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17-3
Weecap

She’s Crazy For Trying and Crazy for Crying

Season 17, Episode 3 - Somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright. The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light. And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout. But there is no joy in Clarksville; mighty Kacie has struck out.

01.21.2013
01.22.2013
F

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17-2
Weecap

Pranks for the Memories

Season 17, Episode 2 - Ha ha! Joke's on you! You're on The Bachelor!

01.14.2013
01.15.2013
F

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17-1
Weecap

Broken Hearts, Broken Rules

Season 17, Episode 1 - Sean breaks with tradition and just starts handing out roses whenever he feels like it. Anarchy ensues.

01.07.2013
01.08.2013
F

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16-12
Weecap

Rose Before Hos

After the Final Rose - ime between proposal and when it became clear that the preceding two hours was even more of a waste of time than usual: about two minutes.

03.12.2012
03.13.2012
F

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16-11
Weecap

Swiss Cheese

Ben Gives Out His Final Rose - We spend two hours to watch Ben dither over two women, when in reality he made his decision the moment Courtney took her clothes off.

03.12.2012
03.13.2012
F

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16-10
Weecap

Bartha Barcy Ben Barlene

The Women Tell All - Haunted by painful memories and increasing paranoia, damaged women struggle to reassimilate with their families after fleeing an abusive cult.

03.05.2012
03.06.2012
F

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16-9
Weecap

Thank U 4 a Funky Time, Darling Nicki

Season 16, Episode 9: Fantasy Suites - It's the overnight dates! Bom chicka wow wow. Kacie shows up to ask "Whyyyyyyyy" but at least she got to go to Switzerland without having to sleep with Ben.

02.27.2012
02.28.2012
F

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16-8
Weecap

Kacie and the Sunshine, Banned

Season 16, Episode 8: Hometown Visits - Ben visits the hometowns of the remaining women, for awkward conversations with fathers who clearly want to murder Ben but also want to support their daughters.

02.20.2012
02.21.2012
F

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16-7
Weecap

I Belize in Miracles, You Sexy Thing

Season 16, Episode 7: Belize - There's ain't enough room in Belize for Emily and Courtney. Guess who Ben keeps? Hint: it's not the one who prefers to keep her clothes on.

02.13.2012
02.14.2012
F

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16-6
Weecap

There Is No Joy in Panama, Mighty Casey Has Struck Out

Season 16, Episode 6: Panama - Trauma counselors are called in when it's revealed that Casey is in love with someone other than Ben.

02.06.2012
02.07.2012
F

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16-5
Weecap

I've Got You Under My Skinny Dipping

Season 16, Episode 5 - Courtney makes a power play in the best way she can think of. No, it's not her sparkling conversation skills or her intellect. It's taking her clothes off.

01.30.2012
01.31.2012
F

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16-4
Weecap

It's Raining, Ben. Hallelujah!

Season 16, Episode 4 - Emily decides to tell Ben what an awful person Courtney is. You know, the same Courtney who Ben keeps giving roses to.

01.23.2012
01.24.2012
F

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16-3
Weecap

Shawntel? More like "Yawntel," amirite?

Season 16, Episode 3 - Shawntel couldn’t stand the thought of Ben being on television without her, so she joins the gang in San Francisco, taking some time -- judging from the other women’s reactions -- to kill some puppies along the way.

01.16.2012
01.17.2012
F

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16-2
Weecap

"What Do You Get When You Cross a Gingerbread Man With a Hooker?"

Season 16, Episode 2 - Ben goes on a couple of cheap rinky-dink dates in his hometown of Sonoma, and a couple of women end up crying, presumably upset that out of all the bachelors of any of the seasons, they're competing for … well … Ben.

01.09.2012
01.10.2012
F

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16-1
Weecap

“...And the horse you rode in on.”

S16 Season Premiere - Ben, you’re always running here and there. You feel you’re not wanted anywhere.

01.02.2012
01.03.2012
F

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15-12
Weecap

After the Final Rose

After the Final Rose - They've already broken up once. Brad has a temper. Emily doesn't see them getting married any time soon. Another Bachelor season, another fairy-tale ending.

03.14.2011
03.15.2011
F

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15-11
Weecap

Shouldn't Have Put a Ring On It

Brad Chooses The One He Wants To Marry - Time for the final decision, which for Brad is Emily, which means the show begins the awkward shift from pretending the Bachelor has a deep connection to a bunch of women, to pretending that he loved Emily from the very beginning. Looking forward to Brad's next season on The Bachelor!

03.14.2011
03.15.2011
F

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15-10
Weecap

"It Hurts My Feelings That You're Angry About All the Awful Things I Said About You"

Season 15: The Women Tell All - Chris Harrison and Brad Womack want us to believe that Michelle wasn't being mean, she was just being hilaaarious. No one with eyes and ears and a brain is buying it.

03.07.2011
03.08.2011
F

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15-9
Weecap

"What's Wrong with You? Tell Me."

Brad and the Women Go to South Africa - Brad and Ashley figure that, since Brad may propose to her, it's time to get to know each other. This has disastrous consequences for Ashley.

02.28.2011
03.01.2011
F

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15-7
Weecap

Chantal/Shawntel

Brad Goes on Hometown Dates - Brad makes home visits and barely makes it out alive.

02.21.2011
02.22.2011
A

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15-7
Weecap

Anguilla = Time Killa

Brad and the Women Travel to Anguilla - During a layover in Anguilla, Brad keeps his vow not to string anyone along by harshly dismissing Britt and depriving Michelle of her last drink before the firing squad... er, I mean rose ceremony. Don't mess with a girl's booze, Womack!

02.14.2011
02.15.2011
C

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15-6
Weecap

"Screw Your Courage to the Sticking place, and We'll Not Fail"

Brad and the Women Travel to Costa Rica - Chantal tells Brad that she loves him. Brad asks, "What makes you say that?" Not the same thing.

02.07.2011
02.08.2011
F

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15-5
Recap

"That's What You Get for Waking Up in Vegas"

The Remaining Women Travel to Las Vegas - Brad and the women go to Vegas, where they race vroom-vroom cars that go really fast, which naturally makes Emily think of Ricky (like everything does).

01.31.2011
02.01.2011
F

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15-4
Weecap

"The Life Aquatic with Brad Womack"

Brad And A Date Enjoy Catalina Island - Brad takes the women to see Dr. Drew, who probably wishes he was analyzing someone less reprehensible, like Warren the Ape.

01.24.2011
01.25.2011
F

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15-3
Weecap

"It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin or Else It Gets the Hose Again."

Brad and a Date Record a Duet - Is there anyone on this season of The Bachelor who doesn't have daddy issues?

01.17.2011
01.18.2011
F

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15-2
Weecap

"It's My Birthday and I'll Behave Like a Soul-Sucking Harridan If I Want To"

Brad and a Date Get Closer - When even women who go on The Bachelor are sick of your whining and complaining, it's time for you to go. That means you, Melissa and the Manscaper.

01.10.2011
01.11.2011
F

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15-1
Weecap

You Give Love a Brad Name

Brad Womack Starts the Dating Process - Brad Womack's back on The Bachelor, and a bunch of people pretend he needs to be ashamed of not proposing to Jenni or DeAnna.

01.03.2011
01.04.2011
F

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14-10
Weecap

Every Rose Has Its Thorn

After the Rose - Tenley gets trotted out for Chris Harrison's amusement and Jake and Vienna snog publicly.

03.01.2010
03.02.2010
A+

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14-9
Weecap

Oh Captain, My Captain

Season Finale - Captain Jake picks his soul mate based on pixie dust and magical sparks.

03.01.2010
03.02.2010
A+

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14-8
Weecap

Touched by a Bachelor

The Women Tell All - Time for the annual rehabilitation of the images! Ali fails to remind everyone why they initially liked her, Michelle comes off a lot better, and Rozlyn comes off worse. Also, Harrison uses the phrase "sexy new phenomenon" with a straight face.

02.22.2010
02.23.2010
D

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14-7
Weecap

Poor Baby Jake

Trip to the Island of St. Lucia - Jake goes on the overnight sexy sex dates with his three remaining bachelorettes, while Ali pulls an Ed and tries to get back on the show. Jakey don't play that, though. You don't get a second chance to hurt Jake, Ali!

02.15.2010
02.16.2010
D

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14-6
Weecap

Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon (Hopefully)

Jake Meets the Bachelorettes’ Families - Ali pulls an Ed and tells Jake she'll be fired if she doesn't go back to work. Jake pretends to leave it up to her, but when it seems like she's not going to give up her job, he urges her to stay. Not cool, not fair, not realistic, not at all supportive. What is wrong with people?

02.08.2010
02.09.2010
D

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14-5
Weecap

I Lost My Lunch in San Francisco

Jake Spends a Week in San Francisco - How do you make the dates seem even more pointless than normal? Remove the possibility of elimination from the equation.

02.01.2010
02.02.2010
D

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14-4
Weecap

Plenty of Cheese with the Wine

Trip Up the Coast of California - The show takes a Rock of Love: Bus turn this week (not as awesome as it sounds) that ends in a lot of Vienna disparagement and Jake improvising by sending about 19 women home in an epic Rose Ceremony BLOODBATH (again, not as awesome as it sounds).

01.25.2010
01.26.2010
D

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14-3
Weecap

Unfunny People

Jake Takes One Woman Bungee Jumping - Jake wets his pants over going bungee jumping with Vienna, and then they spend the next eight days congratulating each other for being awesome. The women get some comedy tips from Jon Lovitz, who then talks about his crotch.

01.18.2010
01.19.2010
D

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14-2
Weecap

Roz for Termination

The Women Move Into The Mansion - The dates include flying, an amusement park, and the band Chicago being exhumed for a private concert. And then an inappropriate staffer enters into Rozlyn.

01.11.2010
01.12.2010
D

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14-1
Weecap

Landing Strip

Season 14 Premiere - The airplane puns are out of control, and Jake has a strong aversion to shirts. Welcome to the new season of The Bachelor.

01.04.2010
01.05.2010
B+

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11-5
Recap

A Romantic Gondola Ride

A Romantic Gondola Ride - I don't know what gondola ride they were watching, but the one in this episode is really awkward. Not as awkward as Hillary, though. Ohhhhhh, Hillary.

10.21.2007
10.23.2007
B

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11-4
Recap

Brad Takes One On A Helicopter Ride

Brad Takes One On A Helicopter Ride - And another three get the heave-ho: Stephy, which is too bad, and the odious Jade and McCarten, which is long overdue.

10.14.2007
10.16.2007
B+

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11-3
Recap

Brad Takes Six Women To The Circus

Brad Takes Six Women To The Circus - Then he sics his identical twin Chad on the pre-Rose Ceremony cocktail party. In between, Hillary has a meltdown, Bettina confesses, McCarten is a bitch some more, and Solisa tries too hard.

10.07.2007
10.09.2007
B-

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11-2
Recap

After The Fall

After The Fall - After group dates to the racetrack and the beach, Jade, Hillary, and McCarten emerge as front-runners in the Hateable Derby. Michele falls down the stairs -- then out of contention, followed by Erin and Mallory. Jenni and Brad kiss. Solisa is a weirdo.

09.30.2007
10.02.2007
C+

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11-1
Recap

"I Will Find A Wife"

An Entrepreneur Looks For Love - Meet Brad Womack. He's ready to settle down, find a nice lady, get married, and repeat himself about that shit twenty-eight squillion times on this season of The Bachelor. Also in this ep: foobs, the human pretzel, and…Melissa. Ohhhhhh, Melissa.

09.23.2007
09.25.2007
C+

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6-3
Recap

Heather Is A Loser

Heather Is A Loser - Heather and Mary come back. Heather leaves again.

10.05.2004
10.11.2004
C-

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6-2
Recap

Leina Has Left the Building

Leina Has Left the Building - Byron moves into the women's mansion, and Leina splits because she loves someone else. Four more women get eliminated.

09.28.2004
10.03.2004
C+

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6-1
Recap

The Bassmaster

The Bassmaster - The women choose Byron, and Byron eliminates ten women.

09.21.2004
09.27.2004
B-

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5-7
Recap

Jesse's Mom Has Got It Going On

Djb’s Last Bachelor Recap Ever, Suckas! - Whatever. Jesse's castrating, pearl-clutching, evil WASP mom is really only in this episode for a few minutes, but Djb wanted to put that index title there to remind everyone that Fountains Of Wayne is actually a really good band.

05.18.2004
05.20.2004
A+

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5-6
Recap

A Fantasy Suite In The Lincoln Bedroom

Taller Than The Washington Monument - Washington D.C.! The birthplace of our nation. And, according to this show, the birthplace of romance. Go there with someone you hate today.

05.11.2004
05.15.2004
A+

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5-5
Recap

A Wrong Turn On The Southern State

Gun Shy - Andrews, Texas. Paul's Valley, Oklahoma. Ech. No wonder people hate America.

05.04.2004
05.08.2004
C-

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5-4
Recap

Jenny Jenny, Who Can I Turn To?

Marching Orders - Not Jenny, that's who. Because you don't listen, Jesse. BECAUSE YOU DON'T LISTEN!

04.27.2004
05.02.2004
D+

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5-3
Recap

Spy In The House Of Love

Spy In The House Of Love - Trish is a whore, and the other women stone her to death.

04.20.2004
04.26.2004
B

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5-2
Recap

Your Trish Your Trish Is On His List

Spy Vs. Not Spy - Trish is also in Jesse's pants. And his wallet. And...his heart?

04.13.2004
04.17.2004
D+

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5-1
Recap

The Hell Nine Yards

I Spy - Football, basketball, baseball, and equestrian all become one generically uber-sized MegaSport when it comes to mixing metaphors about back-up quarterback Jesse Palmer. We'd call this episode a "touchdown," but we're not sure Jesse's ever gotten one, so he might not know what that is. Also? This episode is not a touchdown.

04.06.2004
04.10.2004
C-

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4-9
Recap

Low Interest Rate

Two Become One - One of the remaining two girls fosters a "connection" with Bob's family based on the fact that she does something with mortgages and he does something with mortgages. In the perfect illustration of this episode's inability to hold an audience's attention, Djb can't remember if that was the winner or the loser.

11.18.2003
11.20.2003
A+

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4-8
Recap

Friendster Is For Suckers!

The Women Tell All (Season 4) - With a lack of anything better to do during this deathly slow reunion special, Djb resorts to discussing how he can't get laid.

11.11.2003
11.13.2003
A+

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4-7
Recap

Northern Overexposure

Me Estella, Eugene - Fantasy Dates to the north, south, and creamy nougat center of North America confirm Mary as the loser, Estella as the dark horse, and Kelly Jo as the perky next-Bachelorette-in-training.

11.04.2003
11.07.2003
B-

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4-6
Recap

¡Hola Again!

Death Becomes Them - Why is Mary still on this show? Remove the feeding tube, Florida. It's OVER.

10.28.2003
11.03.2003
C+

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4-5
Recap

Mary, Mary, Why Ya Buggin'?

This Is Getting Old - Mary cries crocodile tears, even though Djb is not entirely sure of what "crocodile tears" are. Isn't it when you cry and you're also old, scaly, and reptilian? If so, Mary cries crocodile tears.

10.21.2003
10.23.2003
D+

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4-4
Recap

Divas Live

Lee-Ann Freaks Out - Lee-Ann drips diamonds and the other girls drip venom as Bob's least compatible lady sails on a transvestite cruise ship.

10.14.2003
10.17.2003
D+

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4-3
Recap

Skinny Amy

It’s My Bachelor Party And I’ll Cry Because I’m Crazy And/Or Sad About The Sudden Death Of My Grandmother - Bob plugs his band and Djb plugs his ears.

10.07.2003
10.09.2003
C-

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4-2
Recap

No Chris is Good Chris

The Chris/Miss Party - It is now officially, contractually sanctioned to find the existence of Chris Harrison worthy of putting us all in a really bad mood.

09.30.2003
10.02.2003
C-

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4-1
Recap

She's A Bad Mama Jama

It’s So Nice To Finally Meet You! - "Bad" in a good way, of course. After all, this is Bob s mother we're talking about here, and Bob is very close with his family. That's just the way Bob rocks the slang up here in this hizzy.

09.23.2003
09.27.2003
C+

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3-9
Recap

WASP Bites

Sibling Bling Rivalry - In a creepy domestic twist on Othello, a man plants the seeds of jealousy inside a previously pure spirit, and the results are...well, Bill-tastic. The next Bachelor? Should totally be Bill.

05.17.2003
05.19.2003
C+

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3-8
Recap

Recapping the Recap

The Women Tell All (Season 3) - Previously on The Bachelor...this.

05.13.2003
05.16.2003
C-

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3-7
Recap

Aloha, Oy

Bowling For Dullards - Three overnight dates, three discreet camera exits when things get...well, when they get all overnighty. (Okay, two discreet camera exits and one dose of panting.) Adios, Tina Fabulous -- the wispy thread of personality you periodically displayed was far too much for Andrew Firestone, Captain of the S.S. Snoozebomber.

05.06.2003
05.12.2003
C-

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3-6
Recap

I Don't Give a Damn 'Bout the Whole State of Michigan

Life (x4) - 'Cause I'm from Ohio. And so is Jen. And maybe some other people, too. Whatever. All those states look the same.

04.29.2003
05.02.2003
C

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3-5
Recap

Seventy-Minute Man

Tennis, Everyone? - If you can't tell a story in the time allotted, you need to switch to a genre in which some kind of "overtime" is permitted.

04.22.2003
04.24.2003
D+

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3-4
Recap

So, You Don't Like Italian?

When You’re Here, You’re Family - Andrew will not be having the special, thanks.

04.15.2003
04.19.2003
C+

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3-3
Recap

Djb Hates Rich People

Self-Respect, Or Shaq Thereof - And here are about a thousand reasons why.

04.08.2003
04.10.2003
B

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3-2
Recap

Retreading Water

Spill The Whine - Even Jesus couldn't turn tires into wine.

04.01.2003
04.03.2003
A+

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3-1
Recap

Welcome to the Steel Wheels Tour

The Bachelor Revealed (Season 3) - Because so much is riding on your tires.

03.25.2003
03.29.2003
C-

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2-9
Recap

Congratulations! Now, Go Away.

May The Best Ass Win - Aaron asks Helene to marry him. Can we talk about something else now?

11.19.2002
11.24.2002
N/A

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2-8
Recap

14:56...14:57...14:58...

The Women Tell All (Season 2) - The rejected women return to blather, bicker, and bore us all with justifications for their desperate, pathetic, or just-plain-crazy behavior. Don't you ladies have a Blind Date casting call to get to?

11.12.2002
11.16.2002
C-

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2-7
Recap

He Did It All for the Nookie

Wet, But Not Very Wild - Aaron pretends that he still has doubts about which bachelorette he wants in order to wrangle make-out sessions from the three who are left. Then he dumps Gwen, the one who didn't wave her ass in his face while wearing a bikini.

11.05.2002
11.09.2002
D+

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2-6
Recap

What, No Dowries?

Fun For The Whole Family - Gwen's, Helene's, and Brooke's families all think Aaron's great and that he's making their respective loved ones happy. Angela's roommate hates him and her family couldn't care less about him. Guess who gets eliminated?

10.29.2002
11.03.2002
C+

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2-5
Recap

Grim, Scary Tales

Cult Of (No) Personality - Gwen plays Cinderella. Heather plays Ursula. Brooke plays (Southern) Belle. Angela and Hayley play those two people in the background who don't get any lines. Helene just plays Aaron.

10.22.2002
10.26.2002
C-

admin

2-4
Recap

Is That a Pink Sperm Whale Between Your Legs, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Week Three - Aaron likes Helene's ass and Brooke's insecurities, but doesn't like Christi's mental instability or Shannon's...something. We never really got to know her, anyway. Brunette Heather slips on her second face when Brooke isn't around. And some women freak because Aaron gave Helene his phone number. Maybe he'll let her wear his letter jacket soon.

10.15.2002
10.22.2002
C+

admin

2-4
Recap

Is That a Pink Sperm Whale Between Your Legs, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Crazy - Aaron likes Helene's ass and Brooke's insecurities, but doesn't like Christi's mental instability or Shannon's...something. We never really got to know her, anyway. Brunette Heather slips on her second face when Brooke isn't around. And some women freak because Aaron gave Helene his phone number. Maybe he'll let her wear his letter jacket soon.

10.15.2002
10.21.2002
C+

admin

2-3
Recap

The Witless Bride

Leaving Normal - Christi pouts and rolls her eyes and tries to poison Aaron against Suzanne, then has a insane crying hissyfit when Anindita calls her out on it. It's a fairy tale, all right -- one where people get shoved into ovens or mauled by wild animals.

10.08.2002
10.12.2002
B+

admin

2-2
Recap

Music Hath Charms to Rouse the Savage Breasts

Hello. I Love You. Won’t You Tell Me Your Name? - Aaron plays the piano and kicks out the women with small boobies and the ones who indicate that they have minds of their own.

10.01.2002
10.05.2002
C-

admin

2-1
Recap

Love Is in the Heir

The Bachelor Revealed (Season 2) - A small-town daddy's boy is looking for a new toy: a pretty girl who doesn't know the difference between "genuine sincerity" and "smug self-satisfaction." Fortunately for him, nobody involved with this show seems to know, either. Also, Alex and Amanda are still faker than an aluminum Christmas tree.

09.24.2002
09.28.2002
N/A

admin

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