Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Daniel: A+ | 34 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Welcome to the Tierradome

And now it is 4:42 AM and Sean is skulking around the Buccaneer with a flashlight to wake the women out. You know, like a psycho and/or a kidnapper might do. "I know girls hate being seen without makeup on," says Sean, who decides what he wants supersedes anything the women want, and wakes them up and pops camera flashes in their faces. Fortunately, this sick fuck determines the women aren't completely unmarriageable trolls first thing in the morning. "I was pleasantly surprised," he says. Their appearances have been found worthy of him! Huzzah!

He's getting them up this early so they can watch the sunrise on the east side of the island, and then take a road trip across the island, with the women fretting about getting enough time with him today to make the case that they deserve a hometown date. Desiree says "I totally feel like Sean's my man" but she's at least aware that the other women feel the same way. However, Catherine thinks Desiree and Sean have made an obvious connection, as evidenced by the two of them playing on a swing at some sort of treehouse while Catherine and Lindsay twiddle their thumbs. Lindsay also notes that Desiree got to ride shotgun in the jeep most of the time. Well, did she call it? You gotta call it, Lindsay!

Lesley's date card arrives: "I hope our love stands the test of time," it says. Lesley says she needs to show Sean that her feelings for him are growing every day, and she badly wants to take him home.

Eventually the group daters make their way to Sandy Point on the east side of the island, and we can all stop holding our breath to see if they could drive across St. Croix in one day. Somehow they managed to drive twenty-eight miles between sunrise and sunset, so that must have been some Formula One-type driving.

Fortunately for this show's skin requirements, that leaves plenty of sunlight for frolicking on the beach and in the water. Sean also needs time to figure out which woman he wants to bestow a rose on, since that will earn her a hometown date. And I'd forgotten that Lindsay was the one in the wedding dress on the very first night, but Sean says he's crazy about her. He says he's "crazy about" everyone, actually. That's his way of saying, "She's pretty enough to have sex with, definitely."

Bachelor

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