Welcome to St. Croix! French for "St. Crotch," I am pretty sure. Sean says he's "breaking the rules" by flying in with the women. Maybe the police should be alerted to the fact he's such a badass! Despite the fact that his rule-breaking means it would take just one plane crash to solve everyone's problems, they arrive safely.

This season's idiots are staying at a place called "The Buccaneer" and they ooh and ahh accordingly and proclaim that the hotel smells "so nice," which is good. The Tierrarist is doing a good job of making friends by setting up a cot instead of staying in the bedroom with some other woman she doesn't like. "I'm not friends with girls who like my boyfriends, I'm not," she says, and she thinks it's best if she just has her own private space. So it makes sense that she sets up her cot in one of the shared spaces.

The date card is for AshLee. "Let's get carried away..." reads the card. AshLee is excited and goes to get ready or whatever, and Tierra sings, "The cougar's back in town," and everyone reacts like she just defecated in the middle of the room. I mean, maybe she did; they don't show us everything. Tierra snottily suggests to us that there's something wrong with AshLee since she's already 32, whereas Tierra plans to be married with kids by that time. By the end of this episode, I think Tierra being still alive at 32 will count as an accomplishment.

AshLee and Sean swim out to a catamaran and have a great time -- AshLee crying while we're supposed to believe that Sean is getting her over her abandonment issues. Even Sean appears to have had enough of Tierra's bullshit because we're at the point where he's grateful to a woman who's talking shit about her instead of booting her out of the house. I mean, I imagine Kacey watches this and starts crying all over again. It's the usual stuff about how Tierra is different when she's with the women, and also probably sacrifices small animals to her Dark Lord and then doesn't even clean up the entrails or anything.

And now they are making out and pretending like they're not getting sand all up in their genitals.

The sun sets and there's a knock at the door. Catherine fetches another date card. "Tierra. Let's explore our love on the streets of St. Croix..." Tierra finally gets her one-on-one date, and then shits all over it by complaining about the sweat and the bugs.

"She's the most unhappy person I've ever come in contact with. I hate that bitch," says Lesley. She says that last part so wearily that I laughed loud and long. She just sounds more defeated than hostile.

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