Bachelor
A Romantic Gondola Ride

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A Romantic Gondola Ride

Back from commercial, Brad is asking Sheena why she's single right now. She says she's "incredibly picky," and Brad asks if that means she's going to "kick [him] to the curb," but he puts those daddish air quotes around the phrase with his voice. Hee. Does anyone else hope he comes back on TV in 20 years as The Dadelor? And his teenage daughter is going out on a date, and he's all, "And is this young fellow your main squeeze?" and she's like, "Oh my God, Dad," and he asks if she's planning to wear "those dungarees," and she's like, "JEANS, Dad, and I have to go now" and runs out of the house, and her boyfriend is like, "'Dungarees'? Your dad is hilarious." Anyway. Brad talks about how Chad liked Sheena, and then blabbers kind of pointlessly about how he's a genuine person and always real, and he didn't expect to meet people like Sheena, and he's happy she's there. Bradterview: Sheena rocks. Brad's starting to say something about meeting everyone's families when the string quartet starts up, and then we switch to Brad-And-Sheena-Cam going down to the poolside dance floor, and the hot tub is foregrounded in the shot, which is a weird juxtaposition with the so-called classy vibe they're going for. Dancing. Brad and Sheena kiss. Soaring striiiiiings!

Sheena 'etterview: Love hiiiiiim!

Soaring striiiiiings!

House. Sheena arrives home and tells Bettina and Jenni about the date. Bettina snots that it sounds "so much more exciting than our date," which she deems "boring" (well, she was on the date, so...go figure) and then she abruptly leaves the room with a chirpy "goodnight!" Jenni gives Sheena an open-mouthed "she did NOT" look. Sheena whatevers that Bettina missed the point of the date, and Jenni whispers, "She's not here for the right reasons." I'm saying.

Cocktail party! Hillary is overdressed compared to the other women -- more formal dress, more formal hair (and the style is too old for her) -- and she's sausaged into the top half of the dress. She's got a cute figure, but the bodice is shoving her boobs way up and cutting them across, and the halter makes her look humpy even though she isn't. You have to wonder if she didn't get set up by production on some of that. Bradterview: Tough decision tonight blah.

Sheena VOs that she's falling for Brad. They grab some alone time, and she reads him a poem she wrote for him. Brad doesn't know what to do with the sing-songy rhyme scheme, jenky scansion, and lines about his moles and ear-hair (oh, Sheena), but graciously asks to keep the poem (probably as evidence for the upcoming SRO hearing), and invites her to have a quick dance.

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Bachelor

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