They have dinner on the beach, and Amanda babbles about how hard a time she has opening up. I mean, she keeps going on and on. I don't know if she's even stopping to breathe. Matt asks some incomprehensible question about whether she had or didn't have feelings for other boyfriends that they have for each other. I have no idea what they're talking about. They might as well sound like adults on a Peanuts cartoon for how much sense they're making. More blather about "feeling" and "being with you" and then they kiss. "I love being with you. I really really do," says Matt. Overemphasize that a little more, why don't you.

Another envelope from Chris offering them up the fantasy suite card, and she doesn't hesitate at all in saying yes, and she seems to think it's an honor. I hope the room had the honor of being hosed down after Matt and Shayne used it.

Back for champagne and snogging in the fantasy suite, and more blather that sounds like vague lyrics of love from a Diane Warren greatest hits CD.

Two down, one to go. Matt greets Chelsea at the pier, because they're going out on a catamaran. Apparently, their relationship has been on a real roller-coaster, but he had a great time on the hometown date. They're going to have a brilliant time. Her parents were brilliant! In a talking head, he says that when they got out on the boat, things seemed awkward. So we see some deathly boring chit-chat about the size of the island, set to doom and gloom music. "Where was that passion? Where was that romance? Gone. Chelsea seemed a million miles away." This is disappointing for Matt, that this woman is not throwing herself at his brilliant self. Fortunately, they can stop talking and start snorkeling. "I hope that Chelsea and I can turn the corner and fine romance," he says. They bother some poor turtle, who is all, "Oh, god, The Bachelor? I'm too old for this shit" and swims off. Looks like fun, though. Unfortunately, Matt complains that he had more chemistry with the turtle, better eye contact, than he did with Chelsea. "I was gutted," he says. But you're in love with Shayne, and/or Amanda, so how is this a problem? And weirdly, we've had very few talking-heads with Chelsea so far. This is starting to get the vibe of a "hell no I'm not marrying this British douchebag but I'm not turning down a free trip to Barbados" thing from Chelsea. We go to commercial not knowing if Chelsea's going to agree to fuck Matt for the sake of staying in a nicer hotel room.