"The most romantic finale in Bachelor history!" That could very well be true, I don't know. And I'm confused, because I don't think that's happening tonight.

"I can't tell you how smitten I am!" says Matt as he packs for Barbados, where he will be the "luckiest guy."

He says the overnight dates are longer and more intimate (meaning, they have sex?). Shayne's up first, so he's pushing the other two out of his mind. "I think that's the right thing to do," he says. Yeah, that's usually what guys do when they're seeing multiple women. That's the "right" thing to do, arsehole.

On a beach in Barbados, Shayne hug and kiss and say that they missed each other. Shayne says she's "100 percent" falling in love with Matt, and the cynic in me does not believe that for one second. It's her first time out of America, and Shayne can't think of anything more romantic than going on a holiday with a guy who's taking two other women on the same holiday where he auditions what they all look like naked, as I understand it. They cavort and frolic in the water and pretend to be in love. If you listen closely, you might hear Matt say "brilliant" a couple of times.

After the frolicking is over, it's time for a dinner date. Shayne wears some kind of brown shimmery thing that looks like glamorous ancient Rome maternity wear, which is probably not the look she was going for. Matt tells Shayne about how her mom asked him about dating an actress, and handling going to premieres and watching his wife kissing other men. As far as all the glamorous movie premieres in Shayne's future, she might as well have asked, "How would you feel if your wife grew six more legs and became a giant spider-woman?" Shayne has a good laugh at the idea of there being emotion involved in love scenes: "Do you understand that kissing someone on screen is anything but romantic?" Anyone who watches this show understands that completely, Shayne. When Matt broaches the topic of talking about something a little deeper, like the U.S. election, Shayne says this: "As far as politics goes, I'm smart and that. I know what's going on in the world. I'm an intellectual. Is that how you say that?" In a talking-head, she says she doesn't have to prove anything to anybody. Lucky for her.

She asks Matt if he wants to be with her. "When I look in your eyes, I look in the eyes of someone I could easily be with," says Matt. Wow, now that's romantic. Shayne says she's falling in love with him. Matt sighs, and says, "You never cease to amaze me. I'm falling for you too." Then they kiss.

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