A Trip to Barbados

Episode Report Card
Daniel: A+ | Grade It Now!
Boom Boom Boom Let's Go Back to Matt's Room

So they head inside and blah-blah, and things seem to be going better, and then Chelsea tells Matt she has a surprise for him, and then poor Chelsea is forced to put on this tight night-dress with the camera on her. She comes out of the bedroom and tells Matt she wanted to show him her romantic side, and Matt can barely contain his boner, and in a talking-head, Matt says it was absolutely amazing, and everything he needed her to do, she did. And now he's dreading the rose ceremony. Watching this show with an acute sense of dread is a weekly reality for most of us.

Three women, two roses. The three of them look extremely nervous/uncomfortable/gassy as Matt strolls down the beach. None of them sounds too impressed when he starts talking, clearly wanting him to just get on with it. "I'm losing someone today very close to me. And that hurts like hell inside," he lies. He picks up a rose. "Shayne," he says, after the no-doubt producer-mandated long dramatic pause. Well, that was the easy one.

Chelsea and Amanda can't be bothered to smile as they await his decision. Which is...Chelsea. A pissed-looking Amanda walks off with Matt as Chelsea and Shayne have the good grace not to celebrate.

Matt and Amanda sit down on a bench, and Amanda says she's shocked. "Everything I said I meant," he says, which Amanda points out means dumping her makes even less sense. He offers up some half-assed nonsense about just feeling more with Chelsea and Shayne, and tries again to pretend that everything he told her was 100 percent true. "I don't believe you," she says. She righteously tells him off, and calls him something that requires bleeping (possibly "douchebag," which only makes me like Amanda more). "I'm sorry you feel I've let you down," says Matt, doing his level best to try to appear gentle, and not getting that "I'm falling for you/I'm sending you home" cannot both be true, and that's why Amanda's eviscerating him.

He sees her off to the limo, and she's very curt with him. She fights back tears in the limo as she says she really thought she was falling for him, and that they were actually going to get married. You're too good for him, Amanda. But what I don't get is exactly what any of these women thought was going to happen. Did they not realize he was saying the exact same thing to everybody? Isn't that how this show always works? If Amanda thinks she's upset now, wait until she watches Matt's awkward date with Chelsea that was completely turned around simply by Chelsea putting on sexy black bedroom wear.

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