Bachelor
A Trip To Cabo San Lucas

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A Trip To Cabo San Lucas

Previously on Bettina And Her Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Dad: Jenni had a crusty grandma. Sheena's mom had delusions. Brad had ouzo at DeAnna's house. Bettina's dad had a stick up his ass. And Sheena had to go.

Coming up: 45 minutes. Praise the Lord.

Bradterview: Cabo, woo! He reviews for us that he gave Jenni the first first-impression rose and the first kiss. Big hugs as he and Jenni reunite on the dock, and then it's time to swim with dolphins, which Jenni is sort of scared to do (as I would also be, in a bikini that small), but Brad promises that "it won't be When Dolphins Attack." Meanwhile, threatening surf-guitar chords try to imply that the dolphins may in fact attack. Naturally, they do not; Jenni's freaked out at first, but then they pose for pictures with the dolphins kissing them, and the dolphins with their underbites and their little teeth look like that kid who made the crazy-drunk faces in the back row of your class photo every year, and it's totally fine. Dancing with dolphins, riding dolphins, jokes about dolphins wanting a rose (oh, fine: hee); Jenni says it's a good date because it's a chance for her and Brad to be silly together.

As they shower off, Bradterview talks about how they're attracted to each other, "but a true relationship is so much more than that," so Brad needs to ask her what she's feeling -- which he does in the next scene, while they have poolside quiet time together. Jenni takes forever to answer, and explains the delay by saying she doesn't want to express her feelings, only to set herself up for disappointment. Fair enough, especially in this situation, although for the Bachelorettes, it's not really a viable plan; if he's not sure of you, he can just pick someone else. Brad thinks she might feel better if she just puts it out there. Bradterview: Jenni's more reserved today, which is new, but I want her to be able to tell me anything. As BVO continues about how she shouldn't hold back during their date that night, Brad and Jenni kiss.

After the break, it's date time. Brad VOs about the fantasy-suite card, and I did not know that an actual, physical card existed. I thought they just had the suite, and the suite had a number of beds, and whatever happened…happened. Silly Sars, forgetting that every aspect of the process is extremely coy, but unbelievably crass at the same time. BVO: I want to spend the night with Jenni, but we'll see what she says.

At the dinner table, Brad offers a toast of gratitude for Jenni's existence, basically, which Jenni appreciates, and which also makes her realize that she has to let Brad know she's falling for him. She says it's easier for her to show her feelings than to say them, and Brad reassures her that it's not a test and says it's a big step for him too, and then Jenni switches gears and is like, "You have something in your pocket, methinks," and pretty much orders him to hand over the fantasy-suite card. Hee. Brad is surprised, but not in a bad way, and then Jenni makes the obligatory "or are you just happy to see me" joke, and then she's pretending to pick his pocket to get it, BVO talks about "getting frisked"…okay, very cute, let's get on with it, please.

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