Bachelor
After The Fall

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After The Fall

Sunset one-on-one with DeAnna, where she talks about her hopes for the show, but also that it won't destroy her if she goes home. It's a bit awkward, but she's not fake, and Brad seems into her. Brad excuses himself for a second, and she's a little bummed, but he's going inside to retrieve the rose; in the suite, when he grabs the rose off the salver, Jade and McCarten make "…I don't know" faces. Outside, Brad "feel[s] a really good connection," and gives DeAnna the rose.

Inside, Jade says, "Boo," then starts "laughing" to disguise her loathing of DeAnna. McCarten "shrugs" that she doesn't know what criteria Brad "went off of" to pick the rose. Well, let's see: DeAnna didn't imply that Michele was lying, she didn't wait exactly half a second for Brad to react to the news before dragging him away from the others, and she didn't kiss him mid-sentence sans chemistry. It's called "an iota of grace." Borrow one from someone. Then Jade suggests not leaving Brad and DeAnna alone too long, so they all get up to "bust up" the two of them.

Outside, DeAnna shares that she had a five-year relationship that ended when the guy cheated on her. It looks like Brad's thinking about planting one on DeAnna but the others arrive just then. Jade 'etterviews that DeAnna is "the quiet one," but she wonders if that's just a front DeAnna puts on "for the girls." Meanwhile, Hillary's mad that she didn't get the rose, describing Brad as getting "all touchy-feely" with her during their one-on-one. See above re: that's not really what happened, but whatever gets you through the night, Butt Chest. Brad toasts future fun times; DeAnna says there's a lot of game still to play.

Commercials.

The next day (…probably), the girls slated for the beach date put on a wedgie-tastic bikini fashion show; the girls from the track date stare dully. Sarah 'etterviews that the track-date girls got jealous because the others got to wear bikinis, or something, but aside from Erin, who looks like she might start crying, everyone just looks too tired to muster up much reaction. Hillary complains that the bikini parade is insensitive to Michele, who can't go on the beach date with the others, although if Hillary really cares about Michele and not her own jealous self, I will eat my hat.

Brad pulls up to the house in a woody wagon, which as visual puns go is a pretty funny one, and VOs that today's group daters have a lot to live up to compared to blah blah. Faux Beach Boys music tootles on the soundtrack. Brad goes in, greets everyone, then asks after Michele; he's told she's outside, and she is, sitting forlornly on a chaise and fooling around with a Nerf football and getting more tan, which is not what I'd suggest for her, since she already looks…well, a trifle mature. Any road, Brad comes out to check her okay. She's embarrassed about her injuries and Brad's pity. Inside, McCarten reports to the others that he's "brushing" Michele's arm, and…look, I'm not unaware that this sort of cattiness is half the draw of this show, and that it's a competition, but caring that much, that humorlessly, this early in the going? Doesn't that seem like a bad call strategically? With that many women still in it, wouldn't you want to behave a little more generously towards someone who hit her head, as you must have done repeatedly as a child in order to have this poor a sense of how you come off, McCarten? Sheena says in an 'etterview that they all hope Michele's okay, but at the same time, they're there for one reason, which is a nicer way to put it without blowing sunshine up the situation's ass. Thank you, Sheena. Brad tells Michele that she's tough, which is "very attractive," and gets on his way.

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