And then Harrison brings out a tent, because wasn't it hilarious how everyone thinks they got all freaky in the tent only they really didn't? This show makes me want to light people on fire.
So who's going to be the new Bachelorette? Who are we going to like at first and then slowly come to despise by the end of the season? Yep. Jillian. Goddammit. I like Jillian. I like her now. So do you, America. But next season you're going to watch her in episode after episode blather about how she knows what it feels like to be on the other side, only she never knew how difficult it would be to do the choosing, and how hard it is to let people go, and we're supposed to feel sympathy for people who choose to go on reality shows about love and then figure out it sucks.
And she babbles about how she's been a fan of the show since day one, and always thought the bachelorettes were so lucky, and ABC is "magical" because it found 25women who were so great for Jason (and then, presumably, ditched them all in favor of the twenty-five who were actually on the show?), and it's "surreal" for her to be here, and yeah, maybe this show is unorthodox, but there's also Internet dating and blind dating, so this is a different world or whatever, and what any of this has to do with anything I have no idea and she talks a mile a minute.
And then she jokes about how she's not a good actress, and she was skeptical, but the feelings were real, and she just doesn't want her dad to have to see any more hot tub scenes, and I can't believe her dad survived the massive heart attack I presume he had when he saw the hot tub scene.
So that's it, America. Let's all make a pact. We like Jillian now. We hate this show. Let's continue to like Jillian, ignore the show and let it get canceled, all right?
Oh, who are you kidding. You'll be back. You're always back. At least I get paid for this.