Bachelor
Bachelor

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | 745 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
And You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Song (But You Probably Won’t)

Back at the house, the women speculate as to who's coming home. Jillian confidently says Stephanie's coming back, but Megan says if Jason's just friends with Stephanie, he'll probably send her home to be with Sofia. Then Megan gets a "premonition": maybe he's sending them both home! Given that we haven't been bombarded with scenes promising "the most shocking two-on-one date ever!" means that that's not going to happen.

The dancing's over, so let the dinner begin. Jason says "both these girls have amazing qualities," so this is going to be hard. At the dinner, he asks the women how much of a problem it would be to move to Seattle (I guess that's a given, then, Jason?). Nikki instantly says "not very" and explains that it's just her she answers to, and doesn't have to worry about anyone else. She might as well add something like, "I don't have any cemeteries in my hometown where my kid's father is buried that I need to visit or anything" for how obviously this is directed at Stephanie, who, for her part, blithely says she would be wherever her man is. "How about the future," says Jason, and Nikki says, "The future is wide open," and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU IDIOTS ARE TALKING ABOUT AT ALL. She talks about her 11-year relationship, which Jason says in an interview that he didn't know anything about until that night. They sit down for a chat and Nikki reveals that she and her ex were high-school sweethearts and were together from when she was 17 until she was 28, and then he woke up one morning and said, "I love you so much, but I don't want to marry you." She got sick she was so heartbroken, and she's only gone on a couple of dates since. She oddly seems a little more relaxed than you'd think, pouring herself out like this.

So I guess Stephanie's been twiddling her thumbs this whole time, but she gets her chance now, and she goes on about how she's so grateful to be there and she's very attracted to Jason. In an interview, she says she really wants that kiss. I am really starting to get unnerved by how all the women on this show speak about "the kiss," like it's some kind of immortality-granting magical potion. [Maybe it's like the Dementor's kiss from Harry Potter, and they hope to steal his soul? - Z]

Bachelor

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