Bachelorettes Compose Songs

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | Grade It Now!
And You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Song (But You Probably Won’t)

Yeah! It's the best part of the show! Elimination time! Chris tells the women that there's a lot on the line or whatever. But don't worry: Jason appreciates what you're going through!

Three roses to hand out. "This has been another amazing week," says Jason. Amazing in the sense that this show is still on, he means. First rose: Melisssa. Yay! Second rose: Jillian: Yay! So just one rose to give out between Megan, Shannon and Lauren. Jason looks them over, picks up the rose. Shannon smiles at him. Then he sighs and says, "I'm sorry. I can't do this." He puts the rose back on the table. "I can't give out this final rose." Lauren can hardly believe it. "Megan, you are amazing. You give, and your view on the world is unbelievable. And Lauren, you are more honest and real than almost anybody I've ever met. And Shannon, you are just a beautiful person." But he says he can't lead anyone on, and he doesn't see "forever," so he can't give out the final rose tonight.

Chris comes out to tell the women to say their goodbyes. "I respect your honesty," Lauren tells Jason, hugging him, then outside reveals that she wasn't being honest herself in saying that. She doesn't think it's fair that Jason "changed the rules." Like, this is The Bachelor, not the Geneva Convention, you idiot. In other words, you would have preferred to be kept on even if Jason knew he didn't want you around. Her ego is what's unbelievable, given she assumes that he would have kept her over Megan and Shannon.

Speaking of Shannon, she is surprisingly sanguine about her ouster. She says Jason seemed like the perfect man, and she was hoping there would be a connection, but there wasn't. She doesn't even cry! She seems nice and normal. Well, except for the part where she talks about going home and french-kissing her puppy. You know, I have a dog. She kisses me. She uses tongue. That's what dogs do. But my tongue? STAYS IN MY FUCKING MOUTH.

Megan also felt the last rose was for her. She was "shocked and surprised." She says she's hurt and confused. "Jason is a fantastic man. It's pathetic how much I don't want to go home right now." She sneaks off-camera to sniffle. Like Shannon, much less annoying than you'd think she'd be in defeat.

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