Bachelorettes Compose Songs

Episode Report Card
Daniel: D | Grade It Now!
And You Can Tell Everybody This Is Your Song (But You Probably Won’t)

Back at the house, Molly goes to get the card for the two-on-one date. "Let's dance the night away," she reads to Stephanie and Nikki. Stephanie gets excited, while Nikki says, "That's your thing, not mine." What IS your thing, Nikki? Singing's not your thing. Dancing's not your thing. Keeping your tear ducts dry for longer than ten minutes at a stretch is not your thing. God! "There's only one rose. One stays, one goes," continues Molly. Nikki makes a face about having to decide what to wear. I'm guessing that "deciding what to wear" is just not her thing.

Time to give out the rose at the group date. In a voiceover, Jason tells us for what seems like the millionth time that he's not there to hurt anybody. And he talks to the women about how he's been there before. "All I can tell everybody is that it's worth it," he tells them. How so? He got rejected! Remember? Anyway, the rose goes to Naomi, which means that you can get away with sulking in a corner if you kind of look like Eva Mendes and look good in a maid's outfit. Well, that's true.

Lauren sing-songs, "I feel like an idiot!" She shrugs off Jason's selection, because if he wants to be with someone who's off and crying in the bathroom every five minutes... In other news, Megan made it to the 1:05 mark of the episode before dropping an F-bomb in an interview. Naomi, in a surprise twist, tells us she was happy to get the rose.

So Stephanie and Nikki get ready for their date, and are coincidentally getting dressed when someone rings the doorbell and has left a couple of dresses by Alberta Malkali for them to wear, because "every princess deserves a gown for the ball," according to the card, which doesn't explain why every princess doesn't get her own prince. Or, in this case, Jason.

There is entirely too much rehashing of what happens on a two-on-one date. Are we all clear? Everyone realize that one woman gets a rose, the other goes home? I mean, if you're so stuck for video that you include Stephanie obviousing that getting a rose is crucial "because it determines the fate of staying here," then maybe we could chop this show down to an hour, huh?

The two women look really nice, with Stephanie looking much less harsh than she did in the initial episode or two. However, she expresses some insecurity over how beautiful Nikki is, and that she thinks Jason likes dark hair and dark eyes.

So Jason rolls up in a Rolls-Royce or Bentley or whatever, and, as usual, the women all happily send the trio off on their date, and then start scowling and tossing back their omnipresent drinks as soon as they leave. "The farther along this process goes, it's hard," says Shannon.

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