Three women! Two roses! Who will Andrew choose? Do you suppose they'd let him say "I choose me" at the end like Kelly Taylor? Because that would be awesome, and I think if ever a guy was likely to propose to himself, it might well be Andrew. At least his parents would probably think he had found someone good enough.

Fade up on our very own Andrew, relaxing in his dark wicker pool chair in his dark jeans, black socks and shoes, and long-sleeved t-shirt. Oh, and his Ray-Bans. Can't forget the Ray-Bans. God knows 1986 hasn't. He explains that his position grows ever more difficult, as he has now experienced "the pressure cooker" of meeting the families, and now he finds himself falling for all three of the "ladies." I swear, every time Andrew says "ladies," I am yanked out of my reality-show-watching state of semi-comatose bliss and transported to my eighth-grade gym class, where the word "ladies" was used by our gym teacher with a substantially heavier dose of very welcome irony. I am actually of the opinion that the word "ladies" should never be used without irony unless the ladies involved are at least eighty years old and own a lot of Lawrence Welk records. At any rate, Andrew is suffering. Don't you feel for him? Feel for Andrew, you heartless bastard! All he has is wine and tires, and in large parts of the country, that would qualify him to be the subject of a country song. Feel for Andrew!

Andrew packs his bags and heads out for his "overnight date" with Kirsten, explaining as he goes that spending time with her is "a lot of fun." He claims that they have "lively conversations." Lively conversations? Between Kirsten and Andrew? Wow. That's not easy, considering that both of their brains appear to be hand-cranked. Andrew leaves the house in his dark pants, light blue polo shirt, and -- oh, yes -- Ray-Bans. I have to say that, for a rich dude, Andrew wears some weird-ass outfits. The editors try to imply that Andrew's mind is wandering from Kirsten to Jen by splicing in a voice-over of him saying that he and Jen could "be anywhere and have a blast." I guess his mind isn't really wandering so much as caressing his numerous options in a methodical manner. He tells us that Jen "rounds [him] out." I wouldn't even begin to speculate about what that means, but I'm thinking a lathe is involved, and there is probably screaming. At least, I hope so. Jen has, he concludes, "a calming way about her." Presumably to chill out Andrew's wild, wacky, spontaneous, devil-may-care sense of whimsy that leads him to break out the pastel polo shirts before the Kentucky Derby. Tina, he concludes as he lets an anonymous member of the serving class put his suitcase in the back of the limo, makes him feel "very different." Tina has "this energy and this fire." Of course, any woman who actually had energy and fire would certainly fend for herself well enough to avoid this show in general and Andrew in particular, so you know that he's speaking in relative terms only. He says that Tina is "intriguing" and "keeps [him] guessing." Given her history of letting him do little more than kiss her on the cheek, it looks like Tina has mastered, at least for the moment, the strategy of cultivating a certain mystique by withholding physical contact. That certainly is a winning strategy to use on any guy with less than four individuated brain cells and absolutely no background in feminist theory.