Next, they discuss Kirsten's feelings about the other girls. She mentions that she has opinions about them, but immediately insists that of course those opinions don't matter. Rather than take the opportunity she has provided to not listen to her spew about the other girls, Andrew tells her that he values her opinion, and that she should speak her mind. Kirsten admits that she really doesn't know Jen well. This, of course, is because she can't think of anything credible to say about Jen that's bad. She moves on to Tina, however, and says that Tina has "a lot of growing up to do," and Kirsten doesn't think Tina is "ready for a relationship." Kirsten, of course, has the experience of twenty-three years, which allows her a certain perspective to look down on Tina's twenty-two years. That extra year really is the one where you learn to psychoanalyze others. But Kirsten wants to make sure it doesn't look like she's trying to, you know, be a bitch or anything. I swear, I have rarely seen a woman more persistently passive-aggressive than Kirsten. She's all about the muttering and the disclaiming. In an interview, she chalks her sabotage behaviors up to the fact that she's "falling in love with Andrew." Whatever.
This conversation goes on and on, and yet nothing happens. Blah blah blah openness, blah blah blah being together. Wake me up when there's not so much talking.
Finally, Andrew produces the Sex-velope, with its oddly Victorian tone, offering them the use of the "fantasy suite" should they choose to "forego [their] individual rooms" and "stay as a couple." Can you imagine how long it would take you to figure out what the hell that means if English weren't your first language? You'd be like, "What the hell?" And then you'd get it, and you'd say, "Oh, ho-ho-ho, SEX!" And then you'd make a chicka-bamp noise, or whatever noise is used for porn soundtracks in your country of origin, and you'd laugh. And, of course, you would choose to stay in the fantasy suite, because otherwise, Andrew won't like you. That's what Kirsten does, anyway. The funniest part is that after she reads the note, Kirsten actually looks over at Andrew, gives him her best come-hither eyeball, and sticks her tongue into her cheek. I know. She didn't do it on purpose. But still? Funny. They agree to "check it out."
Look, the fantasy suite is pretty! What a surprise. Kirsten and Andrew lie on the rug with some pillows. They smooch. "You're so wonderful," Kirsten happily coos. "I can't help it," he says gregariously. Wow. Can I sign all my eggs up for Andrew Firestone Charm School right now, so that if one of them turns into a baby boy at some point, he won't miss out on learning to say things like that? Andrew tells us that for weeks, he's been waiting for the right time to get "romantic" and "intimate" with Kirsten, and surprisingly enough, with the production types standing over behind the cameras holding the "HAVE SEX NOW" signs, he thought this would be a good time. Go figure. The most notable thing about this sequence is that they smooch and make out pretty heavily without Kirsten ever putting her wine glass down. Hey, it could be worse -- she could be fondling a snow tire. She goes on to explain in an interview that I am unfortunately not making up that she wanted to "stand out in Andrew's mind," and that she wanted her time with him to be the best of all the girls, so she decided ahead of time that she was going to say yes to spending the night with him. Again, there's a sense in which you have to admire the girl's candor -- the people on this show tend to try harder than that to couch their decisions in a certain amount of romantic mumbo-jumbo -- but it's still just plain creepy. She basically did just say, "I wanted to win, so I knew I was going to have to sleep with him." Cree-py. As they make the call to stay over, she interviews that part of her feels insecure about Jen and Tina, but part of her is pretty sure Andrew likes her the best.