Bachelor
Bowling For Dullards

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | 1 USERS: A+
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Aloha, Oy

Later, Tina and Andrew have lunch -- wait, didn't they have a picnic before? Was that brunch? I'm so confused. They talk about what an "amazing day" it was, with the fish-kissing and everything. Tina claims in an interview to have had a "rush of emotions" at dinner, but you can't really tell, because he's busy -- you guessed it -- pushing her hair back. That's really not a bad move, but you cannot do it every three minutes, or the girl will start to think you don't like the way she wears her hair. Or that you're overly interested in her forehead. "I'm falling for you, and I'm scared," Tina finally says in a way I simply don't find convincing. "Why are you scared? I want you to fall for me," Andrew says. Jesus, fuckwit, she's not scared of not pleasing you right at this particular moment. How clueless can one weasel be? And now, Round Three of the obligatory discussion about the other girls. As fascinating as ever.

They watch the sunset from the roof of their hotel, both looking very bored, actually. Tina voices over that she doesn't like talking about her feelings (you know what private people some of these dating-show contestants are), and she says that she takes Andrew's failure to in any way reciprocate the feelings she expressed to mean that they are mutually not entirely ready to commit to each other. Hmm, that's...an interesting interpretation. They smooch in front of the sunset.

Back from commercials, and the terrifically inventive visual of there-goes-the-sun, here-comes-the-moon is used to convey that it is evening. You might have been able to tell from the fact that it's now dark, but remember, it's really the journey that matters, not the destination. We knew it was night, but we needed to know how that happened. Anyway, Andrew and Tina go out to a little gazebo where a fancy dinner has been laid out. She explains in an interview that she was nervous about dinner, because she's feeling a little bit vulnerable. Andrew gives another very bland toast. Andrew starts quizzing Tina -- who is, remember, one year younger than Kirsten -- about whether her extreme youth might be any kind of problem. She says that although she is young, she thinks she's ready for a relationship. He asks her if she's interested in having a family, and she says yes, she is, but not immediately. He says something about getting an idea of what she's feeling, and she asks if he's having trouble reading her or being able to tell how she's feeling. He says no, turning down an obvious opening to talk to her about how she's feeling. Of course, this is because Andrew does not care how she's feeling. Andrew cares only about how Andrew is feeling, which you can tell because he turns the topic back to himself by asking Tina whether she has "concerns or questions" she wants to raise with him. Tina tells us that she was surprised when Andrew dug into these topics -- she doesn't know, of course, that Kirsten has practically cracked a rib with the strain of planting the seed in Andrew's teeny brain that Tina is too young and wild to have a family or make a satisfactory wife.

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Bachelor

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