Blah blah blah, Andrew tells Tina he's comfortable and happy with her -- just as he did with Kirsten and Jen. It must be nice to be the kind of person who can spout crap like that with such convincing earnestness without feeling any sort of embarrassment. "I just want to let you know how much I enjoy being with you," says Andrew. It occurs to me that Andrew never just says how he feels, or explains how he feels. He treats his feelings as a commodity to be discussed. He wants to tell you how he feels. He wants to let you know how he feels. He wants you to understand how he feels. He doesn't just say, "I enjoy being with you," he has to say, "You should understand and note that I enjoy being with you." It all feels very clinical and weird, and it comes across like strategic emotion deployment, rather than actual conversation. Strange. Andrew talks about how he's seen so many sides of Tina during the approximately five minutes he's spent in her company, and now he's seeing her nice, sweet, please-please-pick-me side. Of course, this is Andrew's favorite.
And now, the envelope please. Forego your individual rooms, stay as a couple, et cetera. "What do you think?" Andrew says. "I think it'd be wonderful," says Tina, who has already told us that she thinks she's on the ropes. Do you really think she felt free to say no? I have to say that this whole thing actually bothered me in a way that this show usually doesn't, because I did become convinced that Andrew knew all along what he was going to do at the rose ceremony. If that's the case, then what does it say about Andrew that he knows he's not going to pick Tina, and that he knows that Tina knows she's the underdog, and that he therefore knows she's doing this to try to get out of her underdog position, which he knows isn't going to happen? This is the part where the guy goes from being a vague dullard to a genuine asshole -- at least to me.
Andrew and Tina retire to the fantasy suite, which again is generic and boring. Lots of candles, in case they're in the mood for arson later. They stand out on the balcony, and Andrew uncorks some champagne, but the sound guys unfortunately don't insert someone going "Oof!" like they used to every time Evan Marriott opened a bottle. That would have been cool if they had, but it also would have required this show to have a sense of humor, which it most certainly does not. Smooching ensues. Unsurprisingly, they decide to stay in the suite for the night, but first, they have to make out in the Jacuzzi, because there hasn't been a Jacuzzi makeout session yet in this episode, and there is the FCC to worry about. Tina claims in an interview to be falling in love with Andrew, and to be terrified that she'll be sent home and won't get to be with him. Indeed, I can think of little that would be more terrifying than not ending up with Andrew, with the possible exception of ending up with Andrew. Door-closing shot. Followed, in a special bonus moment, by a shot of Andrew and Tina arranging a sheet to cover the windows, because the curtains are apparently shot in the "fantasy suite." Once the sheet is up, we get very special moaning and panting coverage, which I don't recall this show specializing in before now. That's more a Joe Millionaire/Married By America thing. I'm surprised to see such a tacky move from this, the Pride and Prejudice, if you will, of shows about people desperately trying to sell themselves as romantic prospects.