Bowling For Dullards

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | 1 USERS: A+
Aloha, Oy

The love-SUV pulls up at the Olympic Park. Our lovebirds climb out. Andrew unnecessarily tells us in an interview that they arrived at the Olympic Park to go bobsledding, which I guess is an update for those of you who tuned in right at that very moment, and thus missed the part where he told Kirsten that they were going to the Olympic Park to go bobsledding, as well as the part where they pulled up by the big sign that said, "OLYMPIC PARK." I guess redundant systems are the key to any successful endeavor, after all. Particularly if there seems to be a high possibility of intermittent intelligence failures, if you see my point. Andrew explains that Bonnie Warner, a former Olympian and current attentionmonger (apparently), gave them a bobsled lesson and a couple of rides. Bonnie explains that she'll be driving and they'll be riding, and they'll be going 80 miles an hour. Bonnie says that she's driven fighter pilots and a Formula One driver, and they all tell her it's the most intense thing that has ever happened to them. That is only because they have never experienced a rose ceremony, of course. This is what Andrew is thinking as he chuckles indulgently at the nice Olympic lady. She was in the Olympics, but she doesn't know pressure like Andrew knows pressure.

Bobsledding ensues. There's not much to say about it, really -- it's people strapped to something that goes fast, and as I've explained before, that tends to be a non-character-revealing activity, because there's nothing for the people involved to do except yell "Wooo!" Which they do. A lot. Andrew and Kirsten raise their arms at the end of the ride as if they've accomplished something besides being successfully manipulated by gravity. Here's what Andrew has to say in his interview: "Kirsten definitely impressed me today, because I know how amazing she is on a yacht and a drive-in, but to take her out of her element like this and put her up on a bobsled on a sheet of ice, and have her smiling and giggling the whole way, it sort of says a lot about her." You know, I've always said that. Indiscriminate smiling and giggling is a real display of character. Andrew and Kirsten smooch and hug at the end of the bobsled ride, thrilled that they have cheated death. Or, you know, ridden an icy roller coaster. As they leave, Kirsten interviews that she wishes Andrew would just tell her that she's getting a rose and will be meeting his parents and so forth. She's so impatient. We see them take a ride on a snowmobile as she explains that she understands he can't do that. She clearly doesn't understand, but she has to say she does.

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