Bachelor
Bowling For Dullards

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Aloha, Oy

The door to the fantasy suite closes. How...romantic?

When we return from commercials, Andrew has put the girl he just screwed firmly out of his mind, because it's time for the next girl. It's killer gauzy, the romance that's being brought to bear. He's excited about seeing Jen. They're in Arizona and it's raining, which should probably be taken as a sign from an angry God, but Andrew just thinks that the rain is romantic and might work to his advantage. He and Jen both open umbrellas as they prepare to meet up. Jen tells us that she has "butterflies." She thinks this date will "make it or break it" for her and Andrew. And you know what that means, don't you? Fantasy suite, baby! Sigh. Anyway, they meet up, and they hug, and Andrew tells us that whenever he sees Jen, he finds more things that he really loves about her. They climb into a waiting limo, and they're off. Andrew tells her that he had a great day planned for them (came up with the whole thing himself, I'm sure, yes sirree), but since the rain came along, they're going to...go bowling! Jen looks utterly horrified, but tries to be a sport. "Bowling!" she says. "I like bowling." Liar. Andrew voices over, "A bowling alley, by definition, is not romantic." Andrew is an idiot. Has he never watched a single chick movie in his overprivileged life? A bowling alley is exactly romantic! And so are batting cages, state fairs, zoos, ballparks, and hot dog carts. Andrew has no imagination. Not to mention the fact that it has to be more romantic than the damn bobsled. Twenty romance points are deducted, after all, when you have to wear a helmet and share a teeny enclosed space with an Olympian. Moron.

In the bowling alley, Andrew and Jen attempt some weak banter. They both suck at it, but they persevere. She immediately throws a gutter ball. He teases her. A teeny, almost imperceptible spark makes an effort to appear. She throws another gutter ball, and he kills the spark, because instead of giving her more crap about it, which is what he should have done, he gives her overly earnest bowling lessons. Idiot. She gets one pin down. "You knocked the heck out of that one, though," he says. Oh, there's that spark again. Kill it, Andrew, kill it! "If I get a strike, you have to give me a kiss," he says. Aaaaand he killed it. Much too obvious. He does get the strike. He does get the kiss. "I am the best bowler ever," he says. Heh. I cannot tell you how much easier Andrew is to take during this date than he has been at any other time during this show, ever. As weaselly, phony, and generally unbearable as he is when he's around Kirsten, he comes across as a tiny bit charming and funny during the bowling with Jen, probably because he's less intimidated. If I must watch Andrew, I far prefer the Jen-related Andrew to the Kirsten-related Andrew. Jen and Andrew head back to the resort, Andrew promising "spa treatments."

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