The women are all assembled, and Harrison tells them that Brad says this will be a different rose ceremony from the last one. Because not getting a rose finally equals death, as I have been lobbying for? No, it's because Brad is a "different man." Because of the Dr. Drew show? What about the therapy he's supposedly been undergoing since he was on the show last? What about Jamie, his therapist "while he's in L.A."?
Anyway, Brad comes out and greets the women. He thanks all of them for being patient, and says he's trying to make it as easy as possible for all of them, because he wants to propose to one of them at the end of this. Not sure what one has to do with the other, but hey, let's get this under way!
The remaining roses go to Ashley S., Alli, Emily (big surprise), Shawntel (he says "N." even though the other Chantal already has a rose). Lisa. Jackie. Marissa. Last rose goes to Ashley H. D'oh! That's a mistake. She's nuts. Meanwhile, he's letting Lindsay the dynamite redhead go, plus Meghan (yawn), and Stacey. Meghan says it's a bummer, but at least she doesn't start crying. She does think Brad "missed out on a great girl." Stacey says she wants to meet the right guy, hopefully soon. "I'm sick of dating," she says. And finally Lindsay, who says it's disappointing that she's going home tonight. "Rejection is always hard, but I think that I was true to myself, and I think that my dad is going to be proud of me. For being the daughter he and my mom raised me to be," she says, by which I think she means that she didn't sleep with Brad. And then she starts to cry. Never mind, I don't like Lindsay anymore. Go home, Lindsay. We almost made it through an entire episode without hearing about someone's daddy issues.
Daniel is a writer in Newfoundland with a wife and a daughter. His biggest fear is that The Bachelor will never end. Follow him on Twitter (@DanMacEachern) or email him at email@example.com.