Back at the house, there are fifteen women who find out that they are going on the group date. In an interview, Michelle moans that it's going to be hard to get his attention, and tomorrow's going to drive her crazy, because it's her birthday. Here's guessing Michelle decides to take everyone down with her.
Back at the carnival, Brad and Ashley are eating cotton candy and being "wacky" for a photo booth. Then they sit down for a serious chat. "You sound like you're preparing for the worst," says Brad, after Ashley starts talking about standing on her own two feet, and then they bond over the fact that both their fathers split when they were kids. Ashley's father actually had addiction problems and is homeless. She doesn't even know where he is, which is awful, and I will make less fun of it than I did whilst live-tweeting. Brad blames his father for his own problems with pushing people away, but at the same time he also has a role model for what NOT to do. Ashley wants to know if he came back on this show to redeem himself, because she's worried that he's going to feel more pressure to actually pick someone this time, and they go on like this forever, and I can't believe I'm actually nostalgic for the relative excitement of watching them run around the carnival. At least the carnival bears the possibility of a ride malfunctioning and sending them spinning or plunging to their deaths.
And now Brad is saying inane things like how because of Ashley he can breathe now, whatever the hell that is supposed to mean, and then of course he gives her the rose, and Ashley, who has already earned the nickname "Ash" from Brad, thinks they are going to get married and have babies? Essentially? And now they are on the ferris wheel and they are making out and I am getting motion sickness, and also annoyance nausea. Brad feels he's on his way to finding his wife.
The next day, Michelle is all pissed because she is turning 30 and has to suffer the indignity of sharing Brad on a group date. "Happy freakin' birthday to me!" she moans. God, what a sour person. In the Hummer limo on the way to the group date, the women all toast Michelle on her birthday, so it appears she's talking about it endlessly with them as well as with us. There are also lots of clips of the women who are apparently excited to be doing this, but that's because today is not their birthday.