"All I want for my birthday is Brad," Michelle adds, telling us that when she kisses Brad, fireworks are going to go off behind them, and all other women will be disappointments after her. She's only 30 (so she says) but right now a publisher of German fairytales is rejecting Michelle's headshot for an illustration of a stepmother hag who poisons her sweet stepchildren, on the grounds that Michelle's picture would scare the children too much. Chantel theorizes that Michelle is probably used to getting her way, and Melissa is planning to stalk Brad at the party later on.

Going to commercial, we watch an absolutely incomprehensible PSA that features a Southern Belle, a butch injured bullfighter, a cougar and a dominatrix who's also a vampire. And this is because donating blood is like Brad's quest for love: it takes all types. This film is the Un Chien Andalou of public service announcements. And that will be the only time this PSA airs (I imagine the Red Cross had to agree to air at least one of these ridiculous ads), but it's too late: I'm demanding back all the blood I've donated in protest. Also of note: Brad doesn't get any lines. That's how amazing an actor he is.

Oh, hey, a rooftop bar, how extremely unprecedented and special on this show! Brad leads a toast in which he specifically asks for no drama, which is kind of like showing up to play football and asking to not get tackled. Or going on the overnight dates on this show and asking not to get gonorrhea. Melissa takes him aside to let him know that her extremely awkward kiss during the Red Cross thing means that she's not this "wild, crazy, slutty" girl, and she manages to be even more off-putting and awkward, and now Brad is taking "the birthday girl" aside which is nice for her because each complaint about her birthday gets worse, like I think she's at the point where she is sincerely offended that other people actually exist on her birthday.

She's drunk off her ass when they talk. Meanwhile, Melissa is talking to Raichel the manscaper and ... Marissa? Maybe? And Melissa rather ridiculously tears maybe-Marissa a new arsehole for interrupting, and then she starts mixing it up with Raichel, lecturing her on how she seems like a 21-year-old. That's kind of out of context for us, since the ages have been omitted from the on-screen IDs this season, which is rumoured to be because they don't want to creep everyone out by constantly reminded us how much older Brad is than any of the women he's dating here.