Christ Harrison [Editor's Note: That's probably a typo, but it's staying. -- Mindy] bellows at all the women to come join him, and they carry their booze (disguised as coffee) into the living room as he talks about what an emotional night last night was, even though most of us have scrubbed it from our memories, and he tells them things are going to be getting stupider. Although he doesn't use the word "stupider," he does explain the "rules" of this show again, which is great, because I'd hate to forget what they are and then be able to use that space in my brain for something useful.

He drops off the date card. It's for Ashley S: "Let's find our love song!" Jesus, what song could that possibly be? She's thrilled because she's been waiting for this since she received the first impression rose.

And he shows up while everyone lounges around the pool party. And Michelle glares, and she's really pissed that Ashley S. got the one-on-one date. Michelle says she hates all the other women. She actually says that -- I'm not paraphrasing this time.

So Brad and Ashley drive to what Brad refers to as "the most famous recording studio in the entire world," but they're not at Abbey Road, they're at Studio A of Capitol Records, Brad tells her, like this is supposed to mean anything to her. "Countless platinum artists have recorded here," he says, declining to name any -- was one of them Train? Because that would rule -- adding that they themselves are going to record here, and all I can theorize is that maybe this place is tired of being supposedly the most famous recording studio in the entire world.

In an interview, Ashley seems really nervous. "I hate the sound of my voice when I sing," she says. And they get to the microphone, and they have a lyric sheet for -- surprise -- "Kiss From a Rose" which turns out to of course have magical significance for Ashley because something something something her dad.

And then they start singing, and if Ashley's dad is dead (I wasn't really paying attention) then he is surely rolling over in his grave. They are seriously awful, like, not "this is hilarious and endearing" awful but "I literally wish I were deaf" awful. And it goes on forever, and now they are hugging for some reason. "I picked the perfect girl to do this date with," says Brad. Funny how that works out on every date for every bachelor on every season, huh? And then Brad is apologizing into the microphone to "Mr. Seal," and then Brad and Ashley go into another studio, where the real Mr. Seal is, and he is singing that song, instead of "Crazy," and then they hug and cry and Ashley is talking about her dad again, and she says it's like he orchestrated it, and speaking as a father of a girl I can pretty much guarantee no dad would orchestrate anything that has to do with his daughter appearing on The Bachelor -- well, maybe Joe Simpson would -- and now Seal is singing a song that goes "You belong to Me," and I get the sinking feeling that we're not going to get to see Heidi Klum.