But then the Chris Pimp card comes out, and Ashley jumps all over it, but then they get to the fantasy suite and try to kiss but they're incredibly awkward. I mean, I've never been to a place that requires mosquito nets for people to make it through the night, but I don't think they'd be a main topic of conversation with sex looming.

"I just want to talk to Ashley like we used to talk, but we're taking steps back. I just want my Ashley back, the one I fell for," says Brad. The Ashley you just assumed would follow you to Austin, whatever that means, for her career or life plans.

Then it's time for Brad and Chris Harrison to rehash everything that happened so Brad can say stupid things about the stupid dates and call Harrison "man" about 50 million times.

"On one side, I'm so happy, man. I'm getting there, with feelings, with where I've always wanted to be. But on the other side, I'm torn. I don't want to say goodbye to any of these three women." Yeah, it's tough to say goodbye to any of the three women you're having no-strings-attached sex with.

And now we get the video pleas -- Chantal talks about walls coming down, and a leap of faith, and by now it has to be evident that Chantal got her double helping of breasts by skipping the brains line. Emily thanks him for bringing so much happiness into his life, and she knows she hasn't made it easy for him to know how she's feeling. She loves who he is as a person, and she hopes he'll be a part of her life forever. And then things quickly go south with Ashley, doggedly striving for "honesty" in her video. She says the hometown date was great, but "everything kind of vanished" because things changed really quickly in South Africa, and she's not sure if she's a part of what he wants. Not going to be much in the way of suspense, is there? Brad says her video message threw him off, because it sounds like she's checking out. "I don't know if it's a defence mechanism," he says. But he's going to find out! No matter how awkward/boring it is for us to watch!