Bachelor
Brad and the Women Travel to Anguilla

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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Anguilla = Time Killa

Steel drums play, palm trees sway, girls squeal, and clichés abound as the ladies speed boat into Anguilla. Ashley H. proudly says that their beach run from the boat to the inner island was "just right out of, like, Baywatch or something." Or something. Need I even mention that bitch flips her hair for emphasis amidst this statement? Nah, didn't think so. They descend upon the CuisinArt Resort & Spa. Does that involve meditational food processing? The women ooh and ahh as they enter what I would deem a rather ho-hum villa. Chantal reminds us this holiday isn't all fun and games because Brad will be deciding whose parents he'd like to meet during their stay in Anguilla. She thinks this is her chance to seal her future with Brad.

Chris meets up with the ladies and echoes Chantal's words, telling them there will be four dates this week -- three one-on-one dates and a group date. A rose will be handed out on the group date, but not on the one-on-one dates. He wishes them well and takes off until the rose ceremony. Britt recognizes she hasn't yet secured a place in Brad's heart and thinks this week could be a good time to play catch-up. Shawntel reads a card describing three things Brad might bring to a deserted island: A picnic lunch, champagne... and Emily. Strike one, Britt! Emily thinks she and Brad need to move past the new relationship jitters and really get to know each other.

Brad says hello to the ladies as picks up Emily. He also feels nervous because he's not sure he deserves her. They stroll down a path and sit down to sip champagne. He asks her what she wants to do on their date, and she gives him some "I don't care what we do as long as I'm with you" bullshit. I'd like to see that claim tested Millionaire Matchmaker-style. As they chat, a helicopter touches down about 10 yards from them. They set off for the date, which Brad claims one of the most romantic he's ever planned. Brad says he hopes his relationship with Emily "literally takes off." Heave. They fly over the island, checking out the crystal clear water and holding hands. Emily says she felt like she was "on Cloud 9." Double heave.

The sappy couple touches down on a literally deserted island for their picnic. He thinks it's the perfect spot to tell her how he feels. Instead, he sits there squinting and making the most awkward conversation ever. Sample dialogue --

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