She's so loud that she's audible over at the hot springs. Brad and Michelle hear someone screaming, get a little freaked out, and then instantly go back to their boring conversation about themselves. Michelle really starts aggressively pressing Brad about how he could possibly like Chantal. "Don't just tell me that I wanted to have a sexy date in Costa Rica with Chantal," is a statement that gets uttered, which is too bad, because there are certainly worse scenarios I can think of than a sexy date in Costa Rica with Chantal. Like ANYTHING WITH MICHELLE. "I'm sad because I care about you," she tells him, and he puts the little woman in her place by talking about how his decisions are his own decisions and she needs to trust him.
"I don't like when Michelle gets pissed off at me for nothing," he says. Yeah, bitches be trippin' when you go on dates with other women, huh?
So what happens is Brad gets his mad voice on as he tells the other women that he's so serious about giving the rose to a woman he can marry that he's not just going to give the rose to whoever rappelled first or who overcame her fears or who gave him the best blowjob or anything like that. "Tonight, I'm not gonna hand out a rose," he says.
"I refuse to let myself have second thoughts when giving out a rose, it's important," he tells us, because he can never dial down the "see how seriously I take this?" intensity.
Michelle's annoyed because this means one of the other women isn't going home: "If he can't make a decision, I'll be forced to take matters into my own hands."
Anyway, the next day, Alli's looking forward to her date, but especially to coming back with that post-coital glow that all the other women come back with.
She meets up with Brad, and he introduces this date's torture way of relating marriage to whatever date the show has lined up. Brad talks about the altar again, and says this is because the date involves a little bit of fear, little bit of anxiety, but in the end it's all worth it. Of course, the other things you do with altars is sacrifice living creatures on it.
So they're going spelunking. "This cave is over forty million years old," Brad tells her, and "forty million" also seems to describe how many spiders and bats there are, and so we're treated to Alli freaking out again. And it turns out that inside the cave there are natural stone steps that the locals call the "altar" and Alli is all, "So that's the altar" all disappointed like she really did think Brad was going to skip right to the wedding.









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