Brad Goes on Hometown Dates

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Chantal for her part is very excited to show Brad her hometown. She loves it in Seattle, but then hastens to add that she knows they would be living in Austin, but, you know, they could come visit Seattle sometimes, right? Brad would let her out of the house sometimes, right? Brad nods that they could come visit "sometimes", but he's staying in Austin. It's not up for debate. Chantal pretends that this intractability is an admiral trait in a potential partner. (Ladies, gents, here's a hint: It's not.) Then Chantal brings Brad to her home, which she proudly states she lives in alone. No roommates here, bitches! And no parents either, but they do live just down the road and she likes to join them for dinner, often. Chantal pulls up in front of one of the many split level ranches that woefully dot the Seattle real estate market like Mike Brady moved there after the Brady Bunch was cancelled and just started procreating houses. She opens the tastefully stained glass door and a Pomeranian in a t-shirt bounds down the stairs to meet his mommy. Brad artfully lies that the dog is super cute and not at all creepy. Chantal then reminds the viewer that Brad has to get along with her dog and cats or else their relationship will never work.

Then Chantal pulls out some beer. Okay, hold up. Chantal, a Seattle girl, drinks Corona? She may be the only person in the land of microbrews to drink Corona. I would think it was a product placement except that the name is blocked over. Maybe it's Brad's favorite beer? This is just confusing. Pour the man a Mirror Pond or a Manny's for chrissakes. The couple sits down on Chantal's couch and Brad asks her which of her three pets would be moving to Austin with her. She can only choose one. She'll just have to kill the others to prove her love to him. She laughs nervously and chooses her dog. Then they talk about the lack of closet space in Brad's loft-like condo in downtown Austin. Brad concedes that he might need to move into a larger house if he gets engaged. He didn't say "if".

Wow, if you wondered about Chantal's upbringing, which of course you did because her upbringing is a cautionary tale for those parents who don't want their children to look for love and make out in hot tubs and slobber over pieces of man meat on national television. Anyway, Chantal's parents are rich. Or they put all their money into real estate. The house is huge and gorgeous and almost tastefully decorated save for some oversized objet d'arts on the coffee table that look like wine chalices. Chantal's mother looks like she may have had some work done (boobs, face), which isn't particularly surprising for a woman of her station (ABC). Her dad is handsome and wearing a purple button-up shirt. Her little brother is there, too, trying to stay quiet while the grown ups talk while he tries to figure out whether his sister slept with the guy yet.

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