Bachelor
Brad Meets The Families

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Sars: B- | Grade It Now!
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Brad Meets The Families

Previously on The Producers Giveth And The Producers Taketh Away, Blessed Be The Name Of Bettina: Bikinis. Bling. Jenni: "You suck, Bettina." Hillar-ventilating.

Coming up: Brad visits the families of the Final Four; Sars gets hit by a lightning bolt for using a Bible verse in connection with this show.

We open with some Brad-in-the-shower porn as Brad gets ready to go on the hometown visits and VOs about wanting to feel like family with his prospective in-laws. Cut to Wichita, KS. Jenni is waiting for Brad outside some sort of hideous concrete-bunker structure that I really hope is not her family abode. She talks about how she's psyched for Brad to meet/get the third degree from her fam. They greet each other; she's all excited, which is cute. It turns out the bunker is a dance center, which Jenni's invited him to because she's spent a lot of time there and won her first dance competition there. She tells him about how dancing is her life, and shares a couple of anecdotes, and she's cute about it in that "getting to knoooowww youuuuuu, getting to know all abouuuut youuuuuu" kind of way, but…it's boring. JVO: "Dancing is the passion of my life. And I'm really really good at it." Hee. Good for her. Not that the whole "Jenni's career might make their relationship a long-distance one, aiieeeee" leitmotif doesn't get super-old in about 12 seconds, but it's nice to see that apologizing for having a career doesn't appear to occur to her.

Anyway, she shows off some dance moves and is kind of embarrassed about it. Brad promises not to laugh but totally does anyway, and Brad VOs about whether a long-distance relationship can work. After she's done frugging, she and Brad talk about what happens if she gets the Phoenix Suns job -- which, as of these tapings, she apparently hadn't yet -- and he says it "worries" him because it "felt like for-e-ver" after a week away from her, what if feelings fade long-distance, et cetera. Jenni doesn't think her feelings would change, and points out that trying to work with the LDR would show her that he's willing to compromise for her, plus she'd have something to look forward to. Then it's about time to meet the family, and Brad asks how long since Jenni brought a guy home (two years or so) and says he's getting nervous.

Coming up next: "Hello, Gruff Granny Casting Agency. …Sure, sure, we've got just the thing. …No, we'll provide the t-shirt."

Commercials, then Brad and Jenni head over to Truvy's Beauty Spot. Okay, not really, but it's Jenni's mom's hair salon, where they'll be doing the family meet-up because, Jenni sort-of-not-really explains, her mom's house is too small. Bradterview tells us, over footage of Brad walking in and meeting everyone, that he felt super-anxious, "these people may very well be my future in-laws," and so on. His VO courteously introduces us to everyone while, onscreen, he gives hugs and shakes hands; it appears that Jenni's dad is wearing a pair of those glasses that darken outdoors and then lighten up inside, and yet it is not he who is the awesome one, oh no. That, my friends, is Jenni's crinkly little pistol of a grandmother, who is wearing a "Honest To Goodness 100% Grandma" t-shirt and who jumps up Brad's ass immediately. She's not mean; she's just old and she's through mincing words. At the lunch table, after Brad awkwards through a short history of his background and the family business, Grandma wants to know if he's a drinker. He flounders for a bit, and out of frame you can hear Jenni's sister groaning, "Grand-ma" (hee), and Brad is like, "Well, I drink, but I'm not 'a drinker,' it's more that…you know, forget it," and says instead that he's "probably the most boring bar guy you will ever meet." Jenni's dad asks about nieces and nephews, and Brad is in the high weeds again, repeating himself umpteen ways about how he wants a billion babies, at which time Grandma rolls her eyes and grunts, "That little lady ain't no walkin' baby factory." Jenni buries her face in her hands all, "Augh," but she's laughing -- everyone is, and Brad's like, no no, I don't think that at all. Grandma tells him he better treat Jenni right or she'll run him over in her Jazzy, or words to that effect.

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