Bachelor
Brad Takes One On A Helicopter Ride

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Brad Takes One On A Helicopter Ride

In another room, Brad sits down with a bunch of the others, and they do this twee, awful thing where they tell him they have a "line" for him, and then they go around the circle in order and each of them says one word of the line. I can't explain it better than that because it's too passive-aggressive and Smurfy, but they're asking him who he kissed first and spreading the blame for the question around equally on everyone. I have never missed girls' school for even one second after leaving it, and this kind of nonsense is why. Good grief, people. Bradterview: Good grief, people. He says he kissed Jenni first. All the faces freeze; they question him "casually" about when it happened. Bettina 'etterviews that Jenni talks about "this entire situation…like it's a competition," and maybe Jenni's forgetting that it's "actually about a relationship." The thing is, of course, that it is a competition for a relationship -- a competition which Bettina now knows she's losing, which is why, after Brad has left the room, Bettina calls Jenni "the sluttiest in the house." McCarten is like, "All righty then," and when DeAnna good-naturedly mentions that Jenni claimed she got kissed later than the beach date, Bettina snips, "Wow, slut and liar." Hard to believe she's divorced, eh what? DeAnna, who doesn't seem bent about it, 'etterviews that it's true Jenni didn't tell them, but DeAnna doesn't think anyone asked, because they didn't think to.

Everyone (well, four of them) troops into a neighboring room to "confront" Jenni. Bettina is doing that mirthless-laughter "it's a funny story I HATE YOU DIE DIE" thing that I cannot stand, especially since she just ranked Jenni out as a slut but is now pretending to Jenni's face that the whole thing's hilaaaaarious. Because she doesn't want to get engaged to Brad after knowing him only six weeks. But she loves him. I hate Bettina now. The girls ask Jenni who kissed whom; she claims Brad kissed her, and Hillary 'etterviews that the cat is out of the bag re: Brad kissing Jenni first, but as long as she herself is the last person Brad kissed, "that's all that matters." Ohhhhhh, Hillary.

DeAnna asks if Jenni thought Jade would come home from the two-on-one. Jenni admits that she hoped so, basically because DeAnna is tougher competition. Bettina bitches, "Okay, but -- what about him? Don't you want him to find someone that he's happy with?" Jenni shrugs that sure she does. Bettina wants to know why Jenni would "pray for" someone to come home whom Brad didn't have a connection with, then. Jenni explains, as though to a child, that she wants that connection to happen with her. Bettina prims that she's surprised Jenni's "thinking about it like a game." Ah, yes -- the "if I try to win, it's shrewd; if you try to win, it's dishonorable" argument, a.k.a. "The Lex." We meet again after…not long enough. Jenni won't take the bait, saying, well, you're not me, so. Bettina interrupts that maybe she's misunderstanding what Jenni's saying, which is a flawlessly executed "undercut the accusation just delivered with false self-deprecation so that any defense makes the accused look like the asshole instead" move. …She's good, people. She's crazy, but that bitch-fu is tight.

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